The events that occur when you use an umbrella today...are the same that occurred when you were a child.
First you pick it up and shake it, watching the water from the last outing fall onto the ground, for some reason being sort of entertained by the whole thing.
Second, you cringe and push from the bottom up, anticipating your right thumb being pinched by the cold metal.
Once it's up and clasped, or so you think, you slightly cringe as the wind picks up, in new found anticipation of this shield above your dry head violently turning inside-out. Inevitably it happens leaving you in a frantic attempt to pull it back into it's original form.
As you take 2 minutes too long to find and pull out your keys to enter either your vehicle or home, the clasp which was seemingly secure at the top of the prop, now gives and allows the peice to slip half way down the pole, with a now folded miniature tent coming down onto your head. You should find that it is difficult to push it back up, since your left hand is holding the grip of the umbrella (with all your might) and the right hand is occupied by wet keys.
Because you now have the entire top portion of this spectacular invention resting on your head, your hair gets caught, even in the mere seconds its been lying there, on the metal wires which go from the outside to the center of the umbrella...the center that always ends up on the center of your head.
You get inside, take a sigh of relief and realize you are...wet.
Also, you now have a very wet object that you'll need to put somewhere, to either soak your front passenger side mat or your travertine floors.
Stay dry San Diegans!
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