Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Why do women do that?

There's this man I know...that asks me this question often. 90% of the time I have an insightful (and super interesting) explanation. I believe the other 10% of the time, the questions are irrelevant.

Today's "Why do women do that?" proceeded one word: Questionnaire.

Women have this habit (a beneficial habit in my humble opinion) of analyzing every situation as if they are required to fill out a questionnaire on it.

There's the rating: "What did you like the most?" "What did you think of that particular part?" "I'd say it could've used a little work...what did you think?" These are usually enthusiastically asked first, with the hope you'll join in on the fun.

Then the reflection: "I would like to see more of that next time." Reflect with caution (if reflecting outloud). We usually have a subtle lesson to teach at this point.

And finally the summary: These usually start with words like "Overall" or perhaps a long drawn out "So..." Expect this to be the majority of the conversation. What we really want, is for you to agree...with everything we've stated in the previous 17 minutes.

I AM guilty. All day long. Which means I can answer this question. Lucky boy!

While I look down on the idea of being stereotypical (I like that the least), I have to own the "questionnaire" in me. I prefer to consider it more of an "evaluation," but why mince words.

I find that the evaluation (mincing) is quite helpful in taking an issue, figuring out what and where things went wrong, and moving forward productively. How could one find that process unpleasant? More specific questions are generally welcomed: "Don't you see how I would feel (fill in dramatic adjective here)...?" and "So in the future, what can we do to avoid (fill in unpleasant situation here)...?" It's obviously a great idea to present these questions in the moment, when emotions are running high. Lest you forget that crucial piece...people love it.