Monday, March 26, 2012

Lesson #3 Sheryl Crow

My thoughts on beginning the consolidation process i.e. slowly but surely taking all of your crap to the fiance's pad: There is a (very important) formula, and it's been found. I now share it with're welcome, I feel it's my duty.

1. Do it when he's out of town. No one needs to see you sweatily hoisting a pair of ski boots onto the top shelf at 2am on a Friday night. I'm crazy, leave me alone.

2. Play some jams that will keep you going, but not stress you out as you strategically place golf clubs in the opposite corner of the closet (that you now call "your closet"). As long as those clubs are within a reasonable distance from the pale pink bridesmaid dress you wore in '06, it'll be okay to share the space with some of his stuff. The Jams: I recommend Sheryl Crow radio. Every now and then McLachlan will come on and merit a skip but the Alanis, Jewel and Fleetwood hits make it all worth while. When you're getting close to a crash around 12:45, Snoop Dawg & Dre radio make for some great inspiration...and the left over Del classic crunchy taco will keep up your strength too. It's cool, you've been eating 1200 calories a day for the last three months, and you'll be up another 4 hours anyway.

3. Don't get caught up in your productivity, and forget to feed the cat. He'll never trust you alone for a weekend in his apartment again, if you forget to feed the cat (that you made him purchase a year ago).

4. When "organizing" (that means moving) his stuff...begin with creating piles. Then when honey gets home, he simply goes through piles, not "throws stuff away." Get it?

I have SO MUCH more to say about this...organizing is a passion of mine. I think this is a nice start though...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Lesson #2 You think you want a harp

There are many lessons to be learned, I'm learning, during the engagement months. While they happen almost weekly, I find time to document them, about semi-monthly.

Lesson #2 is for the bride that thinks she wants a harp. The harp (and harpist) would be for the gentle sounds of your classic and perfect ceremony, obviously. What you will need in addition to that harp, your potential harpist will promptly tell you...

You'll need at least one tree (one is clearly the minimum and several is preferred). You don't have a tree...because you're getting married in the middle of a mountain? Well that's a problem. You see, without trees, you do not have shade, and without shade, your harpist's harp won't stay in tune. No one wants an untuned harp...or an unhappy harpist.

Lesson #2 is about more than a harp...and a harpist. I could go on about other things you think you want (like a super hip DJ, and trust me you don't want a super hip DJ. He'll charge you twice what the just averagely hip DJ does. Apparently fedoras can add up?) but the real lesson is that there is more, much more that goes into everything Wedding. The "more" generally refers to finances and logistics. The "much more" would refer to the emotions and personal growth involved. Want a nap? I know. But it's true-and pretty fantastic.

I'm unable to fit in a grand conclusion here, who's got the time these days...but I will say this:

We're not having a harp.