Thursday, September 16, 2010

Some TV

Sometimes some people watch some TV when they're unemployed. That's just what I've heard.

While it's probably wrong to coin myself as UE, the 25 hours a week I grace the yacht club with my terrible attitude just don't feel like a real, full-time job. My fellow servers and bartenders love it when I say that. They don't think it's rude and offensive at all. Actually the fact that I receive unemployment (technically legal since I did lose my full-time gig and report my yachty earnings) isn't at all annoying to them either.

Anyhoo, back to my recent favorite ack., TV. I've been really reaping the benefits (since I don't have any other benefits) of my AT&T Uverse account. Whodathought spending a hundo a month on mind numbing distractions would come in so darn handy?

Because of this TV dazed stage of my life, I have developed some opinions (weird I know) about some certain programs:

1. If I have to see or hear the commercials for Oprah's final season one more time...a)If I had bazillions of dollars, (that much money is cause for invented words) I too would take random strangers to Australia. Why the hell not? and b) the over dramatized song in the background of all the visual nonsense is enough to make me lose it! I find myself looking around my empty living room to find someone and ask, "Is that NOT the worst song you've ever heard?!" Needless to say, in that moment my roommate is at work, like a normal person at 11am.

2. The Bachelor Pad. A guilty pleasure/obsession. After a long night of bar tending I watched our Tivo-ed two hour finale. Now that is some good TV. Worthy of a midnight bedtime and the dangerous quadruple-time-commercial fast forward...seeing all the arrows is always anxiety ridden. My favorite is that there is inevitably one (or two in this case) female that is just certain her reality TV friend-with-benies is going to end up "changed" and wanting to marry her. At the conclusion of the finale she (they) were both wrong. Shocker.

3. VMA's resulted in three realizations for me: After Justin's Nokia live performance I just may have Bieber fever AND while hip hop music is not my forte, Eminem inspires me to put on a hoodie and drop some mad flows. Beyond the Cauc-y boys... while I love my own boo, if given the opportunity, I might accept Usher's hand in marriage. Those moves. Like MJ but way less creepy. Love it.

Mmm that's all for now.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Blog Baby

Like the Indian man sitting next to me on my recent flight said...
There's something maternal about me.
While my initial reaction was to assume he meant I was fat, I quickly turned my emotions to that of appreciation. I'm almost certain it was a compliment, I'll be taking it as such regardless.
Currently, I have friends, a boo and most importantly a blog to nurture with my said "motherly instincts." Oddly enough, the less structured life is for me, the less time I find to take care of my very important (and necessary for the sake of my sanity and overall friendliness)Blog Baby. Note: Blog Baby is blonde just like someday my human baby will be. Isn't that precious.

While the current thoughts that go round and round up here need to debut ASAP...I will not be doing that quite yet. I will however be reminding Blog Baby that I love her (meaning you, reader) and will be gracing her with my nonsense soon ;)

Much love.

Thursday, September 2, 2010


Ya know that one friend who claims that one really learns about herself when in a romantic relationship? Things like what her strengths are, her weaknesses (a topic I don't care to learn more about, personally) and so on and so on...

I don't hate on the relationship loving friend, and especially not any of her theories. Clearly I appreciate the effort it takes to come up with one and then attempt selling it to others to boot! I have learned something very recently about myself, thanks to my current oh-so-insightful Man Friend (My MF if you will).

It turns out that there is something I do during very inappropriate times, something that should generally be done...

in private
at night
and if your love life is anything like mine often yourself.


MF observed and pointed out that I might possibly be a narcoleptic: one that "suffers" from sudden, uncontrollable deep sleep. His substantial evidence included that many of my "anecdotes" I share begin with the phrase, "This one time I was sleeping..." or end with the surprising, "...and I didn't even wake up!" cliff hanger.

Throughout various stages of life I've been found all of a sudden head back, eyes closed, knocked the EFF out. As a child, this relaxing past time was documented in various photos, one most creepily involving my older sister above my head, perched on the arm of our mid 80's tweed sofa, awaiting the moment I'd come to for some play time.

In high school I was the reject that fell asleep at the wheel of my father's Ford Explorer (without a drop of under-aged alcohol involved mind you, I was a church kid duh).

In college you could find me in standard arms crossed, upward-facing position, napping through the required morning chapel. Good thing the closing praise and worship sesh was louder than a standard alarm clock and could wake me just in time to head to class.

Now as a young professional (using the term loosely) I continue my habit/passion for "resting my eyes" with unexpected nappy-poos in unexpected places (floor of the mom's house I'm babysitting in and underneath a co worker's desk at morning recess to name a few). Why am I unemployed again???

I find this to be a strength (shocker) in case you're wondering, since many a travel buddies have found themselves envying my skill to transform a twelve hour bus ride across England into a rejuvenating and blissful time of slumber.

I think I'll head to the couch now.
Good night.