Thursday, July 17, 2014

Clockwork

While the element of surprise can be exciting…I’m a big fan of knowing what to expect when it comes to pregnancy (and life in general, let’s be honest).
So far my body (saying “my womb” makes me feel like a total creep) has proven to be running like clockwork.  The clocks I go by:  My OBGYN/NP and my apps.  I have two apps (not like Buffalo wings, apps on my phone.  Mmmm buffalo wings…) One is meant to be read daily and the other on the weekly.  *It’s amazing to me that the minute you become pregnant your brain’s frame of reference regarding time transforms and instead of thinking “4 and 1/2 months” you say “18 weeks.”  Based on observation, the minute the kid comes out, you're supposed to go back to talking in “months” and say things like “20 months” instead of ”A year and 8 months” or something normal like “almost 2.” So much to take in.

They (my medical staff and applications) said nausea would be wrapping up around fourteen weeks.  This means for about ten weeks total, you feel like barfing or you in fact do barf daily- no prob. They were right and this predictable bod did in fact quit it by end of week 14 (Equivalent to 3.5 months).

They also said that during Week 17 (I’m not doing any more math for you) my joints would start to feel “wobbly and unstable” and whadoyaknow that was the week I gave up the wedges and heels after nearly falling in a parking lot.  I’m not a huge fan of “flats," they make me feel like I'm standing in a puddle...but any excuse to hit up DSW.

Weeks 16-18 all suggest buying new clothes.  I finally went Maternity shopping .  My mother has been doing it for months and blessed me with an entire bin of new clothes when we finally saw each other last weekend. Halleluiah. Imagine actually wearing comfortable clothes and feeling sorta cute.  Amazing.  I held off on my own shopping since I found the whole thing overwhelming.  What exactly do you buy? And if you don’t want to shop online (who KNOWS how these things fit) where do you go?  And don’t you dare say “PEA in a POD.”  I don’t throw down $300 on jeans and I’m certainly not going to start on a pair that have an expandable waist band. Right on track, and fiscally helpful, my body made regular clothing possible until week 18. By now I have elastic bottoms and loooong tops and am loving life.  I think accessorizing is a key piece to this whole thing…for another post.

Certain weeks are characterized by cold-like symptoms and bloody noses…I got those too. And if you think it’s all in my head- MAYBE it is.  Actually it’s not.  I tend to read my daily dose of app then respond aloud “I have that!” as opposed to reading first then “experiencing” what I've read, like other hypochondriacs.

Before I make all the moms that had unpredictable pregnancies totally hate my guts, I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.  Do me a favor and knock on wood so that week 19 doesn't prove me wrong!

PS Week 19= Finding out if it's Boy OR Girl.  We have a 50/50 shot.