I've been pregnant before, quite a few times actually (see previous posts) but never while raising a two year old...while raising teenagers? yes. That's probably even more confusing (maybe reading a series of older posts will clear that one up?) Well, this is a completely different game.
I think I'm a pretty reasonable and easy-going lady, ya know, in life. My husband and I played a little Super Mario Bros last night so...basically I'm awesome. Or at least I have the potential to be.
Boy oh boy though, do I have my moments these days.
Simply put, I feel as though there is a volcanic rage inside of me, building throughout the day (some days, not all) and I'm not quite sure where it is going to erupt around 6 or 7pm. Perhaps it will be in the form of repeating some kind of annoyed-mom-saying like "Listening means mommy saying it one time..." ya know, in a rude tone, or tears or a really red face- probably some combination. I've written before about my redness issues- so unfortunate.
Along with the rage (really no need to give too many examples of how that manifests itself), comes illogical decision-making and an inability to speak properly. The worst part about a loss for words/ marble mouth syndrome is it just feeds the already existing rage and makes me even more mad. I like being able to speak like a human being. Anyone noticed Bachelor Nick doesn't annunciate ever? I suppose I should empathize with him for the next 3 months. But man, listening to that while being wooed would drive me totally nutso, as if I'm not already there.
The poor or illogical decision making is usually in the area of things I can and cannot accomplish. I like accomplishing things. As a stay-at-home mom that can look very different than it typically would- accomplishing things educationally or professionally aren't options right now so taking pride in my home, children (duh) and things I feed my family are usually where I attempt to thrive. I have some fun and new kitchen appliances from my husband (that is seriously into me and the feeling is mutual-I bought him a knife for Christmas, told you I was cool). So, getting "creative" with dinner seems like a great idea. However, it's tough to pull off a great gumbo during toddler witching hour, on a Wednesday night. Who makes a midweek gumbo you ask?! This seriously crazy person does. Maybe that doesn't seem too out of the ordinary for you, Jacque Pepin, but when it piggy-backs a new recipe the night prior (Filipino Chicken Adobo, hello?) it's a little overzealous.
Because I've created an environment where my kid cooks with me (fun mom here!) she wants to SIT (and she yells it over and over until I let her) on the countertop during the entire process. Only SIT means eat raw onion, touch everything in sight and potentially stick a hand in a pressure cooker so.... things can get real.
Then your husband walks in the door. Busted. Instead of being super impressive (you gumbo maker you) you're the psycho yelling at his kid who's covered in andouille sausage. Dang it.
The next morning I may or may not have been told, "If I come home tonight and dinner took you more than 20 minutes, so help me!" I appreciate his concern, and contentment with pasta bakes and chicken and rice.
Surely there are much worse scenarios I could share, moms can I get an AMEN? But you know how blogs and all things social media go, if we really got down and dirty you wouldn't like us anymore. So I'll keep scolding one of my sweet adult children for doing laundry while I had the dishwasher running to myself....oops. Love you Kid!
Thanks to all involved for putting up with me and I swear, I'm doing my best...and taking deep breaths, and cooking reasonable meals, oh and I got some new tennies for Christmas too, so I'm motivated (a little) to sweat out some of this rage...if it would stop snowing outside OR I could do some indoor exercises without pulling another muscle. The struggle is so real.
Getting saner one day at a time,
|Only a complete maniac could get mad at that face. Look at her!|