Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Seriously Crazy Person

I wish I were writing this about a stranger I encountered in a crowded parking lot, while us Idahoans stock up on diapers and meat during this hideous winter. Unfortunately that is not the case and instead I write about myself, a seriously crazy person.

I've been pregnant before, quite a few times actually (see previous posts) but never while raising a two year old...while raising teenagers? yes.  That's probably even more confusing (maybe reading a series of older posts will clear that one up?)  Well, this is a completely different game.

I think I'm a pretty reasonable and easy-going lady, ya know, in life.  My husband and I played a little Super Mario Bros last night so...basically I'm awesome. Or at least I have the potential to be.

Boy oh boy though, do I have my moments these days.

Simply put, I feel as though there is a volcanic rage inside of me, building throughout the day (some days, not all) and I'm not quite sure where it is going to erupt around 6 or 7pm. Perhaps it will be in the form of repeating some kind of annoyed-mom-saying like "Listening means mommy saying it one time..." ya know, in a rude tone, or tears or a really red face- probably some combination. I've written before about my redness issues- so unfortunate.

Along with the rage (really no need to give too many examples of how that manifests itself), comes illogical decision-making and an inability to speak properly. The worst part about a loss for words/ marble mouth syndrome is it just feeds the already existing rage and makes me even more mad.  I like being able to speak like a human being. Anyone noticed Bachelor Nick doesn't annunciate ever? I suppose I should empathize with him for the next 3 months. But man, listening to that while being wooed would drive me totally nutso, as if I'm not already there. 

The poor or illogical decision making is usually in the area of things I can and cannot accomplish. I like accomplishing things.  As a stay-at-home mom that can look very different than it typically would- accomplishing things educationally or professionally aren't options right now so taking pride in my home, children (duh) and things I feed my family are usually where I attempt to thrive. I have some fun and new kitchen appliances from my husband (that is seriously into me and the feeling is mutual-I bought him a knife for Christmas, told you I was cool). So, getting "creative" with dinner seems like a great idea. However, it's tough to pull off a great gumbo during toddler witching hour, on a Wednesday night.  Who makes a midweek gumbo you ask?! This seriously crazy person does. Maybe that doesn't seem too out of the ordinary for you, Jacque Pepin, but when it piggy-backs a new recipe the night prior (Filipino Chicken Adobo, hello?) it's a little overzealous.
Because I've created an environment where my kid cooks with me (fun mom here!) she wants to SIT (and she yells it over and over until I let her) on the countertop during the entire process.  Only SIT means eat raw onion, touch everything in sight and potentially stick a hand in a pressure cooker so.... things can get real.
Then your husband walks in the door.  Busted. Instead of being super impressive (you gumbo maker you) you're the psycho yelling at his kid who's covered in andouille sausage. Dang it.

The next morning I may or may not have been told, "If I come home tonight and dinner took you more than 20 minutes, so help me!" I appreciate his concern, and contentment with pasta bakes and chicken and rice.

Surely there are much worse scenarios I could share, moms can I get an AMEN? But you know how blogs and all things social media go, if we really got down and dirty you wouldn't like us anymore.  So I'll keep scolding one of my sweet adult children for doing laundry while I had the dishwasher running to myself....oops. Love you Kid!

Thanks to all involved for putting up with me and I swear, I'm doing my best...and taking deep breaths, and cooking reasonable meals, oh and I got some new tennies for Christmas too, so I'm motivated (a little) to sweat out some of this rage...if it would stop snowing outside OR I could do some indoor exercises without pulling another muscle. The struggle is so real.

Getting saner one day at a time,

Only a complete maniac could get mad at that face.  Look at her!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Bouncing Back.

Life is weird.

If you took the time to read my story about having my sweet Charlotte Grace then you know that a small part of that journey was miscarrying three months prior to getting pregnant with her.

I never thought that would happen in my life. I mean, why would it?

Now it's happened twice.

A week really can make all the difference.  Today I'm full of energy and feeling alive.  A week ago...let's just say that was NOT the case.

Grieving always makes me stop and evaluate, and of course having had a loss like this before, makes me consider the differences between life then and now.

My husband said it best: Having had a healthy, perfect baby is like already having a million bucks.  Sure, another million would be great but can you really truly mourn when you already have a million bucks running around your house!?

Other factors contribute to the ability to bounce back quicker this time around...I'm home full time with my little one so I don't have to put on a happy face for coworkers or throw on a pencil skirt and get out the door at a certain time. Not to mention, I believe life gets better and better (since we get better and better, hopefully) so I'm not totally surprised that a more recent loss could be handled better, for lack of a better word.

What I just can't fail to mention is that (drum roll please...) God is good. Some of you read that and say, "DUH" or maybe "Wow. What a weirdo."

Well, it needs to be said. I know so many that think with all the burdens, sadness and catastrophes in this crazy world,  it's easier to believe God can't be in control or truly GOOD.  You often hear it said, "Why would God let...(fill in the blank)" Well, I don't go there. I see God even in this situation, which for me, for our family, was a tragedy. I see His love in the new friends around us that left flowers and chocolate covered pretzels on our doorstep, on the reviving trip up to McCall, ID that had been *magically planned for months and happened to land on the weekend following my "miscarriage week." I see Him in my 18 month old that somehow knew playing independently and more than the usual hugs and kisses for her mommy needed to happen on those ugly days. Mostly, I see Him in my heart that has been healed rather quickly.
I feel *lucky that I don't really find it difficult to trust in the Lord and believe He is all that is good. For those that do, I have to assume that your faith (or future faith perhaps) just means that much more.
*Yea, I referenced magic and luck all while praising God.  I've never claimed to be appropriate!

My blog is a lot of things- usually nonsense and I tend to like it that way.  But today, maybe getting a little more serious and sharing a bit of my life shows you just a small piece of the JOY that can be lived when you open up your heart and mind to Someone bigger...even when things just SUCK.

Peace be with You.
That should counteract my use of non-Christian phrases from earlier...and seriously, peace be with you.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

I just really love milk

For some reason I have a really hard time getting on board with whatever everyone else is into. "Everyone" being relative and loosely based on social media and a whole lotta moms.
 I'm not trying to be controversial or stubborn. When (I should say IF) I do finally agree with the rest of the world that something is legit, it tends to be 3-5 years later. Ya know, once the hype has worn off and all the early adopters have proven a product or idea's longevity. If this means anything to you, I bought "Rainbows" after three years of being a college Point LOMA! If that proves nothing, sorry for the lame example. All this to say, sometimes there is hope for me even if I really hold out. Even so, I really don't see my opinion changing about milk and target. What? Yes.

Let's take them one at a time.

I love milk. Real milk. Coconuts, almonds and soy do not really make milk. Everyone knows that right? It is always shocking when friends find out I enjoy a frosty glass of milk with my dinner. I mean not at a restaurant or anything, just at home... I'm not trying to have the same order as my toddler. Seriously though, no one drinks milk anymore. Every cleanse, diet etc. (including one that I'm following now!) cuts out dairy. *I keep low fat milk and cottage cheese in my plan no matter what btw. The calcium, phosphorus and vitamin D are unparalleled! And if you even think about sending me an article debunking these merits, so help me.
I'm sure there are legitimate reasons for drinking hip almond milk (this seems to be what most non-real-milk drinkers chose instead) but if it's not because of stomach aches and is instead because everyone else is doing it- you stop that! Pick up a real mug of milk and enjoy your life. This is America.

Okay now this is where it gets really hairy...
Try to resist feeling genuine concern for my family and me.

I don't like Target.
I've felt this way for a while now. It's not political, it's not personal. I just don't like it. And I have to say this makes target lovers even more frustrated. If my dislike for Target was spurred because they decided to let grown men pee in the same restroom where I change my daughter's diaper, I know they'd totally get it. But the lack of one specific reason unfortunately makes it so upsetting. By the way disagreeing with that whole bathroom thing would obviously make me ignorant and probably racist so clearly that doesn't bother me at all. Without going into the why's of my opinion on Target (I'd like to keep friends and readers) I'll just say this- I love Costco so very much that there is just no more room in my heart for another store. How's that?

Um... I get a little annoyed with all things hipster too and.......

With nothing but LOVE,
Yours truly

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Gotta have a Bach post...

 With a toddler keeping me busy, it seems that some of the only times I get to sit down and write are during Bachelor season…how odd. What I'd like to do is simply post a link to an SNL sketch called "Bland Man." It's pretty well done. Instead I'll break it down.

Obviously Ben is tall, dark and handsome…some might say. I do have to admit though, that bland may be an adequate forth word to describe him. Has the guy said one funny thing yet? And feeding Becca a maraschino cherry does not count as funny.  One would only be privy to that outtake if they watched "The Bachelor Live," airing right after the show. Why do I watch it every week? It pretty much sucks every time but I just can't turn the TV off immediately after that rose ceremony. Perhaps it's because I think Chris Harrison is actually the most intelligent "character" of them all. There is no doubt this guy is strategic enough to carry out a full blown cash grab. Good for you Chris. You milk that bachelor cow for all it's worth. You deserve it after 20 seasons of this nonsense.

 Before I get into my completely illegitimate opinions on this season, I have to share that nothing is more depressing than realizing you are older, much older, then any contestant on the show. When did this happen? I can remember watching it my senior year of high school and thinking "that's what I want when I grow up!" I didn't really think that, but I definitely believed the girls were SO much older than I was. Now 23 is the standard aged contestant, along with her twin, and I am almost a decade older than *the pair of them. Life is weird.
*Downton Abbey is the only other show I watch, so picking up British sayings seems completely appropriate.

 Without sounding cynical (we left those days behind) I can't help but point out that the quality of  female contestants has really gone downhill over the years .  I mean is "unemployed" really a profession? I'm pretty sure the 2016 criteria is a. long enough hair to  accomplish "Beach-waves"  and b. a hard enough body to NOT have a muffin top EVER, even when sitting *Indian-style in a bikini.  No judgment to the girls that meet the expectations and make it on. I would be in a bikini the entire time too if things were...different... I'd probably hang out in a bikini over here in the middle of an Idaho winter if I looked like some of those minors, I mean girls.
*"Chris-cross applesauce" may be a better way to describe "Indian style" for those of you that think referencing an ethnicity is racist.

Caila is my favorite in case you are wondering. She's just really cute.  And aside from her romper this week (booty shown and all) she dresses pretty classy too.

Ruthless Criticism #2, brought to you by me:
Have the dates gotten way more lame? I know helicopter rides are no joke and we can all appreciate them from time to time, but going to an abandoned Neon Museum when you're in Vegas, and could do just about anything with that abc budget? I'm confused. There's gotta be more money for this thing now than there ever has been. They have so much media surrounding this show...Bachelor reunions, twitter stuff that I know nothing about, "Bachelor in Paradise" for all the over-the-top insane gals/super scummy guys. It was once almost appealing to think about going on the show, with all the awesome things they were up to. Now, we just may be having more fun watching (and judging) from our couches.

 Number 3: I won't call it a criticism because I'm not sure if it's negative or positive… come to think of it, it's positive...There used to be just one, two, maybe three drunk and crazy chicks- they're serving white wine all night what do you expect? Now just about all of them are drunk (and a little crazy, or at least a lot dumb) all.the.time.  The entertainment value is well worth whatever they spend on booze. Last night during dinner I realized the show had  already been on for 30 minutes. My husband lovingly reminded me "There are skanks getting drunk and you're missing it!" Luckily I can get him to watch bits and pieces with me at the beginning of the season. Past week five or six when the "real love" starts- he's out. But pretty girls acting like complete idiots, what can I say, I get  humored. Thanks Boo.

I usually end my posts about "The Bachelor" with something like "I for one can't wait to see who he picks." Now I will just say, I don't care all that much, but will keep watching anyway.

Cheers and ¡Viva Mexico!

Thursday, November 12, 2015


Charlotte and I took our first Mommy-Lotti trip, to North Carolina. I spent the entire week prior packing during nap times so that I felt as prepared as possible for two 9-hour days of travel and a week away from home (also to satisfy some freakish compulsion to be organized and in control of things that intimidate me).

If Delta didn't think an overstuffed diaper bag, bulging *CK hobo and a baby carrier (fit for Everest should we chose to climb it someday) were appropriate for the allotted carry-on allowance, well...they had another thing coming.  *Become a mom and kiss wearing your favorite purses goodbye, unless you can stuff some blankets and bottles in them and take them on a flight. Booya.

The first leg, to Minneapolis, went better than expected. The subtle motion of the plane taking off was enough to rock my little pook to sleep for almost the entire flight. Her awake time was spent snacking on puffs (best baby time waster ever) and being entertained by whatever tricks were pulled out of my totally normal sized bags.
I specified that was the first leg right?

5am Happy Girl

Almost to our layover, still happy.  She's got plans for me.
The second was quite another story.  I can only describe my state as sweaty, frustrated, on edge and perhaps a little frantic. All of course because Charlotte's state was...psychotic.  Yes, even the best and cutest of babies become complete mental cases from time to time.  She chose the 4 hour flight to be that time.

The gal in our row seemed nice enough.  I questioned the positioning of her cell phone (why is it some girls chose to prop it in their cleavage? For another time I suppose...) Her patience was much appreciated, but not as necessary as that of the flight attendants. They were forced to share their tiny flight attendant area with me and my screaming child. Because of the standard air bus layout, this meant we also shared the HUGE corridor between the bathrooms with all passengers behind row 15. FanFRIGENtastic. Even the buckle-your-safety-belt sign didn't deter me from the stake I had claimed.  If anyone, including Frowny Magee in the last row thought it would somehow be better for me to return to my seat with said screaming baby, they were just as nuts as Charlotte.

We finally touched down and what do you know, Lotti chilled out and the clearly annoyed passengers  around us realized she happens to be the most charming little girl in the whole wide world.  I mean that dimple and those big 'ol eyes- good luck holding a grudge against my kid.

Nothing cheered me up quicker (lowered my blood pressure is more like it) than the sight of my very best friend and her two kiddos holding a sign that read "Welcome to Charlotte Charlotte!" Ah, we had arrived.

In addition to non-stop gabbing (dishing, get the picture) it was the BEST to be around my bud that I can talk to about all things baby and non-baby related. It can be tough to get a word in edgewise in a group of women (ok, group of moms particularly- no offense, it's just that we have so much to SHARE-one of my reasons for blogging-helloooooo?) I think Steph and I really give each other the respect we deserve.

Just a few of the simple tidbits I took away from our trip:
1. Preparations and Intentions only go so far and sometimes you just have to be the lady with the screaming baby. It's God's way of humbling us.
2. No matter how much trouble I am having with patience for the teething and growing 11-month old,  if someone else shows signs of such, well...Mama Bear has been poked and that's not advisable.
3. Putting a bunch of food on your baby's tray and letting her feed herself may be messy but boy is it fun.
4. When people visit your house, you should absolutely have a Welcome Basket in their room. Mostly because it's the best thing ever.
5. Pumpkin candles burning in the kitchen are amazing. duh.
6. Putting cute clothes on in the morning IS an option, even though you're a stay-at-home mom
7. Not everyone's baby poops in the bathtub.
8. Not everyone's new non-California city is as small as Boise. Whaaaat?
9. Traveling will never be the same again. Being away from the father of my child (my one and only boo) is tougher than ever before.
10. I am so blessed and thankful for my besties. We represent more than a few states now (not officially, although I wouldn't count it out #whydoIlovepolitics), and even still, when we are together it's like we're still roomies/dormmates #collegespeakfroma31yearold

I've been working slowly on this post since we got up today at 5:38am.
There's more to come on our travels back home...Second leg troubles us again and this time with an overbearing helper.

Happy Thursday and Go Tar Heels.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

It only took a YEAR

Last night I had my first, yes FIRST, night out with just girls!  I really hate saying "girlfriends" because I shouldn't need to specify since I'm probably not hanging out with a bunch of dudes. Since I'm not cliche when it comes to calling every female-non-relative in my world a "girlfriend" I have to make up for it elsewhere...I called last night's event a "Moms' Night Out."  That's right.  I planned it and called it a MOMS' NIGHT OUT. What have I become? Answer: A mom...who likes Happy Hour every now and then for cryin' outloud

We moved to Idaho on October 6, 2014 and to be clear, it did NOT take me this long to make friends. It did however take approximately a year to get them all in one restaurant without husbands and children present. Apparently not everyone is of the camp that there are times when men and kids should be left at home. To you I say, Welcome.

I was actually a bit nervous.  And that's completely ridiculous in my opinion (of course it's my opinion, it's my blog).  For most of my adult life I've taken great pride in finding it easy to be social, workin' a room, things like this. Most of my besties (really? no "girlfriends" but "besties" are okay?) would agree that I tend to be the planner of the crew, making sure everyone is together, no one is left out etc. Not much makes me uncomfortable and I feel completely in my element when I'm around a ton of people.

Welp, Idaho has done something to me.  I was trying to figure out whether this new (and awkward) deal stemmed from having a baby, being over 30...?  Nope.  It's being in a completely new place and having to start from scratch making friends; *gals if you will.
*If you're a gal, you know it. Think "bestie" but on a deeper level. Only the real lucky ones have a bunch of GALS!

Here's what I've decided:
This is just a different time of life. I won't be staying up all night talking to these new friends, or spending days at a time with them OR living with them, getting drunk and stupid with them, going through bad breakups with them...things have CHANGED! My gals will be my gals forever and making more gals is just not really in the cards.  I am embracing the newbie friends, but with a reasonable and healthy expectation. No pressure!

Leading up to the evening, which I've established will be a monthly occurrence and everyone is excited about the prospect, I kept going back and forth on whether I should bring a dessert for everyone to the restaurant (nerd alert) or perhaps make them all a little something...maybe a card with a bible verse on it?  I mean, they're all members at our church, they probably like that kinda thing.

Then I decided that I don't like making stuff and unless it was someone's birthday, I probably wouldn't bring dessert to a dinner out with friends.  And that's what this was- dinner out with friends.

So... I dunno...maybe just be a normal human being and stop trying so damn hard!
Ok fine.

I didn't bring dessert or any weird little cards. I mean, I was literally playing with the idea of using my laminator.  What is wrong with me? And the night turned out great.

I even taught some new friends what a Moscow Mule was.  ONLY the coolest drink that comes in a copper mug! DER. They think I'm the wildest woman they've ever met.  I also have the reputation of having a really clean house- what more could I ask for?

So the journey continues...balancing my family, new friends, gals, and trying to feel like myself while doing it all- instead of that weird girl who brought a bundt cake to a sushi restaurant.


Friday, July 17, 2015

Bed, Bath, Bikes and Booze

All I want is a King bed and a big bathtub.

These were my non-negotiables as the hub and I discussed the specs for our recent Anniversary celebration.

Not only did my wish for a bed and a bath come true, but bikes and booze were on the scene too. I feel like a degenerate saying booze (instead of something nicer like "cocktails") but there's kind of an alliteration thing going on here so...

We are creatures of habit and usually go to a fancy steakhouse on our anniversary.  It's always a chance to dress nice, have a long and quiet dinner (except for romantic talk of the previous year's adventures and what the future holds- huh?!).  Of course dropping some dough on a nice meal without feeling guilty is always appealing too. We then continue the evening by staying somewhere for the night.  Last year was especially memorable since it was our last summer in San Diego and I was pregnant with our now 7-month old baby.

This year things are just so different.

Literally all I wanted was a King bed (I would be sleeping through the entire night- hello?!) and that big 'ol tub that would be a welcome change from my usual bathing-with-the-baby routine. What can I say I'm a multi-tasker? Those two amenities paired with couple time (only fogies saying "couple time")...does it get any better?

Yes, it does.  When you add in BIKES and BOOZE my friends! We decided a casual evening, blowing off a little steam (another fogey saying), would be more appropriate than a formal dinner setting. From *Anniversary Inn, we walked into downtown Boise to the nearest rental rack. Thanks @BoiseGreenBike ! I hadn't ridden in a while and whadoya know it was just like riding a bike ;)
*I could go on for days about staying in The Presidential Suite at Anniversary Inn, where we may or may not have called each other Ronald and Nancy for 24 hours. That's not weird.

Central Downtown
So we basically bar hopped all night. Riding around a downtown that is small enough to ride completely around is pretty great. If you've prematurely judged Boise, ID I think you should take a step back, gather yourself and reconsider how COOL it really is. Being cool is super important. 

Since I had so much fun, after thanking my thoughtful husband/best friend in the whole world (aww now that's cute isn't it?) I decided I'd give a shout out to the various Idahoan spots we patronized:

1st stop: Bardenay. Sure they're known for their housemade whiskey, but I say GET a margarita whenever you don't have a baby with you. 

2nd stop: Chandlers Boise We hit the Lounge, not the Dining Room...I told you it was a casual night, just a couple of kids on the town.  The lounge act, brews and filet sliders were ridiculous.

3rd stop: The Matador I've never had a spicier Marg in my life! Mamacita! In case you're wondering, that was my second marg of the night, with a beer in between...a beer sandwich if you will. 

4th stop: Pie Hole When you've been drinking, you eventually need to eat something substantial, like a slice from Pie Hole..alongside a PBR (Hipster right?)

5th and final stop: Space Bar. Pinball and canned Sapporo. YES.  I'm pretty sure we'll be transforming our front room into a Game room 'cause....playing games is a great way to spend your time.  And who hangs out in their "sitting room" anyway?  No one that wants to have fun.

In Conclusion: I love my husband and I love Boise.

The End.

Now go hop on a bike and get crunk.
(said the white mom)