Blonde Story Short

I'm back to work today after what became a 3-day weekend. I stayed home yesterday calling insurance, car collision center (I hate when my little car is anywhere else than against the curb of my cement front yard!) The towing company now has poor Wanda the Honda since she doesn't even start up! Today I return, in my rented PT Cruiser, which by the way feels like driving a really short mini-van (sans bucket seats that hold screaming children). I am feeling out of sorts, like I could re-wash a load of clothes instead of drying it! But I will attempt to focus on the day, my kids and getting some caffeine into my system! As I reached into my messy teacher bag (don't worry, it's quasi hip, no apples or chalkboards embroidered on it) I couldn't figure out if what I held in my hand was a string cheese...or a tampon. This may be a representation of my mind today. Here goes nothin'....

I always start out a Friday morning with one thought... TGIF. I love my job but I love my weekends even more. I once heard a woman I "nannyed" for say something similar..."I love my son. But I love my dates with my husband more." Alrighty then. On a slightly less terrible note, I got in a car wreck yesterday! It's one of those situations where you wonder if a small piece of the puzzle, or day rather, were different...then the mental wheels begin spinning and before I know it I've resorted to a nap. The puzzle starts like this...I stayed an extra hour at work so that I could teach the Hip Hop class. I'm a sucker for killer dance moves as proven in the last entry. I was extremely glowing (OK sweating like a beast) and decided to go home and shower before meeting the rest of the staff for happy hour. I don't wanna brag, but my coworkers are probably cooler than yours. So yes, teachers, at my school at least, often send out an email or sprea

Now let me just first say that I am well aware that saying a word like retarded is not very "PC", especially in my field of work! However there is plain and simply no other word to describe this blonde in the story you are about to read, trust me I've racked my brain and even googled... Next month I will be doing something that I have become very good at. It will be my 6th time performing this duty. Six other gals that I will be identically dressed will be doing the same thing. I will be a bridesmaid. If that saying "Always a bridesmaid, never a Bride" just entered your mind, I just want to take a moment to remind you about KARMA. Be nice. I am very excited about being a part of this wedding. From the hot attire (who doesn't love an eggplant cocktail dress!) to the entire wedding party and wonderful couple, it is bound to be a blast. The fun has begun already. In the past month or so, almost all of the (surprisingly good looking) groomsmen have conv

"Your hair looks nice today... ...especially compared to yesterday." -Fellow teacher (who probably doesn't remember any of this) "I'd pick you up if I saw you in a bar" Me: "But I don't wanna be picked up in a bar." "Okay. I'd pick you up if I saw you on a playground." Me: "Creep." -Mr. A (Always good for a laugh...and a minor ego boost) I love my job and the men I work with.

Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry wants the pen that can write upside down (the kind they use in space) so that when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a bit, he can write it down while lying in bed and remember it in the morning? I see where he's coming from. I have had a million and one things to write about lately and yet when I finally get the time to do so, it all escapes me. After tossing and turning for over 2 hours the other night, I finally fell asleep. I was just gettin' to those good rems when I woke up in a haze and laughed to myself about a blog-tastic idea. Then of course I went back to drooling and even with the help of an astronaut pen probably wouldn't have made it to the nightstand to write it down. All I remembered the following morning was my half asleep creepy giggle. My lack of writing issue has been compounded by the fact that I feel like I've gone through the past 3 months completely baked . Yes, I feel high all....the.

School started back up this week. I may look 19 (without make up/my retainers in) but I'm not a student. In fact I am a teacher. I forgot how much joy even junior highers have the ability to bring me. Usually it's the kindergarten aged children that say things like "You're a Princess!" that I think of so fondly. To these statements, I have no other choice but to respond, "Yes.  yes I am." Being a new year, a new class, I have a new, what we special-ed educators call "case-load" of kiddos. These are the lucky students that get my undivided attention (depending on how many other kids are screaming my name) as I squat down beside their desk and provide extra help through whispered coffee breath. My caseload this year is full of students that are all so unique and intereeeeeeeesting to say the least. One of them is nothing short of brilliant. He creatively creates (oh my alliteration!) video games in his mind and has no qualms about telling me

The following Top 10 doubles as a list of beautiful gifts (from some very beautiful people at my "Fam Bday Bash") AND items that will apparently get you a date ...well not YOU, but ME. Feel free to take notes, or in this case hit "print", to file this valuable information in your personal records. 1. Movie Tickets...this is where the birth of the comment-taken-too-far took place. 2. Cookbook 3. Earrings 4. Clutch-with seahorses on it...so in love with it! 5. A single cousin (???) 6. A pork chop tied around my neck 7. Another cookbook 8. Polk-a-dot Apron 9. Every day apron (very practical, everyone should have one) 10. Silver Cross charm bracelet Why these items you may ask yourself (or ask me)? I don't know. Apparently once you have chuckled even a little bit, out of embarrassment (or I dunno, possibly due to the fact that there is a quasi-set up situation going on AT the party), you have allowed free reign for the family "joke