Monday, November 24, 2008

You know what's fun...?

Making decisions.

Actually it's not fun at all. I've been in the process (and when I say process I mean long, DELAYED progression) of making a lot of those lately. The ones that I struggle with the most include dis-pleasing people. Normally I like to please people. However, you come to a point where you realize that it's no longer working for you, okay it's no longer working for ME. When it does work and it is pleasing to others as well as yourself, fantastic. But when it doesn't, another decision needs to be made...what can I do to make this work for me (and hopefully everyone...see my pleasing tendencies)

I have made arrangements to see absolutely everyone this Thanksgiving, and I mean EVERYONE! Friends, family including mom's side and dad's side (joys of non-nuclear-ness), and even the nice folks at Southwest Airlines will be graced with my presence during this time of giving thanks.

Thus far I'm driving to the OC Wednesday, getting someone's car (not sure which lucky one yet) to be dropped off in Brea at my cousin on my mom's side's house, to then drive to meet at Grandma's house in Pomona. Leaving from Gma's to go to Las Vegas for the Thanksgiving weekend with Mama's side. After turkey, cocktails etc I'll be leaving Sin City on Monday morning to fly to Tahoe...Dad's side's turn! The original plan was for me to stay the remainder of the trip with them, then hop in the Suburban and road trip it home with the famn damily on Saturday, 8 glorious hours. Who knows some good car games?!!!

So what I figured out, about 20 minutes ago, was that this plan doesn't actually work for me. Everyone else is happy, but somehow I'm uncomfortable with these accommodations. I REALLY need to work next week and since I'm waitress-tastic these days, that means Thursday through Monday nights I'm serving Cape cods and Burgers. If I could somehow get home (to my San Diego sanctuary) by Thursday (instead of the following Saturday night) I could work my normal days AND bypass a loooooooong car ride. Hello?!

So...I bought a ticket to fly home on Thursday. Simple enough. I used my own money, and own brain to come up with that. What a concept. See everyone and yet still do what works for me.

Love it. Now I just get to tell the shocked fam about my latest "adjustment" to our vacation agenda ;)

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Grab the bull by the horns


Sometimes you just have to grab the bull by the horns. I'm not sure why that saying means what it means but if you don't know what it means, think "Bite the bullet", "Grab life by the balls..." (okay that one's a little vulgar, not sure who came up with it, but you get the picture)

So I'm an extremely (almost to a fault) neat person. Not neat as in "wow that's neato!" But neat as in my bed is always made, my blow dryer is put away daily (OK weekly, I don't wash my hair that often) and my laundry is either washed, folded and in its proper drawer or in a laundry basket strategically placed in a spot you can't see. After a busy weekend, I told my roommate that my room had just gotten "disastrous." I think that I tell people things like this every once in a while to prevent them from thinking I'm crazy. "Oh yea, my room is soooo messy...I'm like totally normal and don't have things clean all the time." Anyone who knows me well will tell you that means there's a t-shirt on my bed and the closet door isn't shut all the way...wild huh? I admitted that sometimes I like things a little bit out of place because it can be LIBERATING! I followed that statement with, "Like sometimes...I'll even leave a magazine out on the couch in the living room, ya know instead of putting it in the wicker magazine basket next to the TV!" My witty roomie responded..."Wow, you really know how to grab the bull by the horns!" Touche Court, touche.

I started to think about where I'm at in life and how I really do need to grab 'dem horns, bite that bullet, and grab other things...! I feel like I'm just waiting for things to happen. I'm applying to jobs but waiting for them to hire me, I'm working on my own issues but waiting for others around me to change, I'm wanting my life to be full of certain activities and waiting 'til I have the structured schedule, money and time to enjoy those things.

No more waiting, it's time to do some grabbin.

The first step was already made last week...made a decision that would be a drastic change...

I got my hair chopped off! Bold move huh? See two blogs down for more deets ;) Okay but seriously, more horn grabbing and making of life decisions to come!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Strategerie...

I want to love people (somehow)in all circumstances. I've been thinking lately that's the whole reason we're here. God gave us a place to figure out how to do that, to figure out where the balance is in all scenarios concerning relationships...

Where's the balance between loving people and setting boundaries for yourself? Being tactful and being truthful? Thinking of your needs and being selfish? Behavior that's healthy and unhealthy? Friendly and overbearing? Extrovert and introvert? Needing people and using people? Making things happen and waiting for things to happen? Flirting and well, too much flirting? Admiration and Jealousy? Being strategic (strategerie if you will, if a President says it, it must be a word) and conniving? Childlike innocence and adulthood?

I don't want to focus on these things and being "balanced" so much so that I'm inhibited all the time, but I do think being aware is essential...purposeful even!

Something to chew on...on this foggy Saturday mornin ;)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The grass is always greener

Apparently I am the poster child for this saying..."The grass is always greener" (...on the other side, for those of you that aren't up to date on things your grandparents say) Today, in a feeling of I NEED A CHANGE IN MY LIFE I went and chopped off my hair. That sounds like I did it myself...No need for concern, I didn't go Brittany style or anything, I had it done by a professional; Daniel who is the MAN when it comes to hair. Seriously, that's what it even says on his business card.

Daniel Ngo
The Man...
when it comes to Hair

Okay not really. I am quite a fan of his though.

I cut my pelo after graduation a few years back, kept in short for a while (mostly because a friend said it made me look skinnier, always a deal-breaker) and then recently grew the 'do back out. It turns out when it's short, I want it long and apparently when it's finally long...I want it short. So, short it is. I was very carfey to not go "Mom short," it's more edgy I think ;) Anywho, just thought I'd continue on my update kick


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's a love/hate relationship


Seriously I have a love/hate relationship going on...with many people. Some of those include LC, "Speidi", Audrina, Whitney, Lo and Justin Bobby.

Why do I still watch THE HILLS?! I love/hate that show so much! I watch it religiously, TIVO it even, and find that every week I wanna throw my glass of wine against the Toshiba! (This could really be a problem for the 'Tosh and my white shag rug...also wasteful) I don't know what it is. I fear if I miss an episode I won't know what's going on, like what Spencer did this week that will make my skin crawl. How poorly did Justin Bobby treat Audrina...and was he wearing combat boots at the time? How many people did LC help...Holly, Stephanie, a struggling FIDM student? So many plots!

Really the entire show is about a bunch of tools treating these young 20-something girls like trash and the dumb girls thinking it's sweet. How annoying is that? Very annoying apparently.

I can't help it though! I'm hooked. I even watch the "After Show". Possibly because I like the guy in the black rimmed glasses, but mostly just to get EVEN more inside info!

I think it also might have to do with the intro song...I can't help but sing aloud every time! "Feel the rain on your skin...!" So catchy.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Watch out for Predators

My mom is really sweet. She is also quite possibly the most worried person I've ever met. She is always, always worried...mostly about me. I'm her only kid so I guess it makes sense, and not to mention I'm super lovable ;)

Tonight I called her on my way home from dinner with some friends. After a few minutes she asked me if I was home yet. I told her I had parked in front of my house but was walkin across the street to a local coffee shop to grab a decaf mocha...perfect end to the week. My plan was to sip that baby and watch Sex and the City, oh my Friday night! Mom got worried, clearly crossing the street is difficult, even at age 24. "Call me when you get inside, I wanna talk more." I replied, "I don't believe you, you just want to know I got inside and wasn't killed getting coffee!" Then somewhere along the conversation I found myself saying "OK, OK, I'll watch out for predators." Who says that?! I'll watch out for predators? Wow, I've become conditioned to a very, very worried mother...who clearly loves me tons!

Nighty night.
And don't forget to lock up!

Updates...and an exposed alter ego




Every website I venture to, like myspace, facebook, and even blogspot, I see UPDATES everywhere. Apparently "updates" are all the rage. Well, here's my update ;)

I've been applying for jobs like no body's biness! Here have been the results: People clearly refuse to call back, ignore their email (or me, let's go with the first for my pride's sake) or they're not hiring right now. Apparently even Nordstorm isn't hiring right now. Nordstrom, you're always hiring! I know this because 90% of my girlfriends have worked there, most of them more than once! Anyway, I have to just keep holding onto the whole "That must not be what God wants for you" and "God has a plan" thing that Christians always say. Yea...okay. I guess that's probably true.

So this week in the midst of mad influenza I got the "You're great but we don't need you...but we'll keep you on file" letter from Nordstrom, where I'd last resort applied two weeks prior. There's the silver lining, in a month when I've already found a job, they'll need someone, I'll have been kept "on file" and they'll call me for an interview. Glad to be kept on file. Fabulous. Also not helpful at all.

Since I haven't evolved from a desktop to a laptop yet, looking online actually takes some effort, I can't exactly sit on the cozy couch or in bed and surf the web like most. So I dragged my sick and very hot (as in 102 temperature fever hot) bod to my computer two nights ago. I resorted to Craigslist (Hey, I found a good couch there, that could be productive) and PLNU's always faithful job board for students, or in this case alumni. I applied to two MORE jobs. One for a local high school to work with 9th graders (more money and hours than my current job) and the other to nanny for a 4 year old (easy money and more convenient hours than my current job). Don't forget right now I'm serving...and bar tending. It feels like some sort of twisted alter-ego...Miss Morgan, helping the lives of children by day, then there's the blonde pouring 'dem hard drinks by night! I'm so ready to move on. No more night jobs! I'm getting too old for this :(

So...the UPDATE is that although I don't even expect responses anymore, I received an email from the High School and a call from the nanny job (from the Dad, not the 4 year old) Yay for on-the-ball employers!

ONWARD with the interview process!

Stay tuned...