Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Lesson #1 The day after the Proposal

Remember Nanny Diaries? Not the big screen version with Scarlett, how dare you. You know I wouldn't speak of a woman capable of ripping out Ry's heart for someone like Sean Penn. Obviously I'm referring to an old series on B.S.S.

If you're not following, I recommend a cold rainy day that includes you, your laptop and some catching up on posts circa Summer 2010.

Anyway, with nanny gigs behind me, I now bring you a new series...

"Here PUNS the BRIDE"

Here, I will attempt making as many ridiculous bridal puns as humanly possible.


A few here and there may happen though, don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm well aware that there are PLENTY of blogs surrounding the topic of "wedding." Not to fear, I have zero plans of helping you decipher what theme is best for your "Big Day" and how you can win a free cake- with fondant frosting. Who am I anyway? Instead, in this series I will share ALL the lessons I'm learning as I (I mean WE) attempt to plan the best frigen party of 2012- I mean, our classic and tasteful wedding.

Lesson #1 The day after he proposes (not "pops the question," I think we're above over-used phrases like this, don't you?)...The day after he proposes, take a SICK DAY.

Tell your boss you can't come in- there's a weird RINGing in your ear...and you PROPOSE that a day off would be best.

Did you like that? Okay seriously though...take the day off.

You won't have slept the night before, and after you do finally sleep for a few hours, you'll jump outta bed (your own bed of course, being the lady that you are), freakishly check your messages, then text anyone that you figured was sleeping the night prior when the question was in fact "popped."

Don't feel bad about missing a day, you'll be useless at work anyway. Your phone will vibrate off that faux oak desk every 45 seconds and all you'll want to do is 1) stare at the fine piece of platinum on your finger and 2) search the web for how to plan a wedding under 10G's and...lose 20 pounds in a matter of months. You'll also have to take some significant time to contemplate how you'll announce your news to the world (through Facebook) without sounding like a total idiot. My advice, keep it simple. If your FB friend from fourth grade needs to hear every detail, she'll send you a "message" asking about it.


*I think this is how I'll conclude each Lesson post..."seriously." This is obviously very serious stuff.