Sunday, November 29, 2009

Last night in San Fran

My last night on "Thanksgiving San Fran Roadtrip 2009" was a difficult one.

"Okay you're going to go up that hill for about 16 blocks, then over the Golden Gate Bridge.Once you're off the 101, turn right, then left then left again, then right. You'll know what it looks like."

Ok. Quick pep talk to self. Map of strange city riding shot gun...always helpful (when you have the where with all to look down while driving crazy roads and can read maps). A sweaty, shaking version of me made it off the freeway. The lefts and rights began to blur, especially without street names.

Once in the residential of the destination I was at a loss. Areas like this one tend to have that every-house-looks-identical appeal.

I know they have a mini-van in their driveway.
There was definitely a fence.
And there was trim around the roof and an American Flag hanging...or maybe a festive turkey flag?

Mission Accomplished. Arrival at 7pm, ready for screaming children and a glass of celebratory red wine. Done and done.

Friday, November 13, 2009

A day in the life...of VG Comics

It is Friday which means only one thing. I am enjoying my lunch of left-over buffalo wings (yes, I'm a man) and Diet Coke with the students of VG Comic Club. "VG Comic BOOK Club" is not the name, I learned today, because they are not just working on books, but also videos. This is a no-nonsense club.

My job as the club sponsor, is to sit in the corner of the room, listen, and on occassion throw in a courtesy laugh for the kid who hears crickets after the punch line of his comic book related joke. He happens to be one of my favorites, I mean, teachers don't have favorites! How silly.

Truthfully, the statements that fly out of these four boys' mouths make about as much sense to me as the a jean skirt paired with Uggs. I will attempt to document some of their priceless interactions in this post...

"We're working on a video, that'll probably come out after Christmas since I'm asking for a new video camera, one that doesn't suck."

"Yea, make sure it's digital."

"It'll be on youtube. I'm definitely going to have to create a director's account, obviously it'll be more than ten minutes long."

"The video is a Resident Evil Live Action Parody."

"We need a girl in it though."

"I know one actually. But I haven't talked to her since the fifth grade." (An epic two years ago)

"His name can be Resident Weevil, instead of Resident Evil."

"Good one."

"Ripper does have hair, black hair actually." For those of you not in the know, Ripper is a video game character. I mean really, where else would "Ripper" be from?

"What do you have for lunch?"

"Vienna sausages...alright you can have only one."


Saturday, November 7, 2009

It's a jungle up there

I can be a bit of a creep sometimes. Unfortunately, being a teacher gives me more than enough opportunities to hone this talent.
One of my sixth graders had In-School Suspension for calling one of her classmates "witch, but with a B." She is the student who others refer to as "CooKoo." I've seen her in action. When a student didn't honor her request to open the door one day she made what others call her "evil eyes" from outside the window.

"Uh oh. She's making her evil eyes! That means she's gonna try to kick one of us!" I could feel the genuine fear in the room. In fact, I started to sweat a little bit myself.

Last week I walked into an administrator's office to find "Jungle girl" camped out there for her suspension. She had her evil eyes on. I asked her about it.
"Hey you, what's goin on up there?" (Referring to her very interesting mind)
"It's a jungle up there."
"Yea? Would I wanna vacation there? Ya know, but not actually live there?"
"'s not a tropical jungle!"
"Oh. Well what kind of jungle is it?" Most might think it appropriate to stop the conversation with Jungle girl here. I challenge that opinion.
"A jungle with all kinds of papers!"
"Really? What's written on the papers?"
"All of the thoughts I've had!"
Once again, a level headed human would halt (especially a teacher). I however, continued to pry.

"Like No-No thoughts?"
No words were needed. Her and her evil eyes answered yes. The shaking up and down of her head helped too.

"Welp, see ya later."