Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Reaction: OUTRAGE

Since I find myself in a fragile state, once again, the only real exercises in which I'm allowed to partake are 1) cycling, which involves going to a gym and 2) "Speed" walking. Too much speed could cause some damage, so careful I am...

Just not careful enough.

While I try to limit my time alone on the streets of the 'Mont, I couldn't help but go for a speedy walk on this past bright Saturday morning.

Before getting to the meat of this tale, I'd like to throw it out there that I don't love dogs like everyone else in the world...go ahead and judge me. Are they cute? Yes, most of them are. Do I think they're cute enough to pick up their fices and hair that sheds all over my tile and pillow cushions? Mmmm not really. (Do I hate it when people ask a series of questions then answer them? Definitely)....

With my "Today's hits" station in my ears and a spring in my step, I walked as closely to the street as I could so as to not bother (to ignore really) a small 'montie and his two large dogs that were dominating the sidewalk. My polite efforts were not appreciated and just to prove this, one of the big, dumb dogs came up...and bit the crap out of my exposed white thigh. Pink Nike shorts aren't usually a bad call, on that particular day they were. In complete outrage (along with fear, anger and I dunno, maybe a little physical pain!) I hit the pause button, pulled a bud out of my ear and as rudely as possible asked, "Did SHE just BITE me?!?" Most would perhaps act embarrassed or apologetic, I would think. Instead the owner replied, "They're not very good in public." While I can think of many, many responses today ("come-backs" if we were still in junior high) all that came to my lips was, "Ooooooookaaaaaay" with much 'tude and a fierce stride away.

Then I started crying. Yea, you can feel sorry for me if so inclined. A fricken DOG bit me! Who gets bit by random dogs? I think you now know the answer to that question.

I'm not sure which made me more upset (and ultimately brought to tears, during my speed walk of all things): Being scared, of having rabies? Being bummed out, about what this freakin world has come to? Or being OUTraged that not only was the dog a big jerk, but his owner was too.

Damn dogs.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The pain meds baby

It seems that the too-good-to-be-true "paid" op back in the Fall...and I don't mean op-portunity, was in fact TOO good to be true.

While my battle against the Insurance company continues, a new what I would consider dramatic, event has occurred. Good 'ol Dr. Del Mar (the only asian I've ever had a slight crush on, that is until he said "cheers" during our hand shake) informed me that we'd need to "go back in."

And so...we went back in. "We" being an anesthesiologist, a surgeon, an OR nurse, someone who poked me with a needle two or three times, and myself. This round was half the original surgery, literally. One pro to this invasive surgery, aside from a week at the boo's for some all time care-taking, has been the ability to keep down...the pain meds baby.

I will never be someone who is enthralled with the idea of going through life hazily or as my mom would say, "like you're under water." I do however see the benefits of numbness where pain once was...and we're talking physical here, not trying to be an E-MO kid today.

For five solid days of pill popping fancy free Sada, I truly felt what I can only articulate as a FLAT LINE. This meant no emotions (unreal, I know), no worries, and no recollection of what happened in the first 30 pages of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. The perfect entertainment for this state of mind would be the E! channel in case you're ever in the "predicament." The thirty second clips of valuable information and colorful images are perfect for the attention span and interest of the week long pill popper. And that's just a little tid-bit from me to you.

Today came the drop-after the post op. This meant a burst of tears upon leaving the stylish and contemporary office (Reasonable to assume that if one's greeting is "cheers" he is probably pretty hip to the latest office decor and pillow accents...and maybe fedoras. I mentioned there's complimentary Vitamin Water and Dove chocolates there too right? You'd think it'd be near impossible to cry in an environment like this, though you'd be wrong. I had an incling the whole "flat-line" thing wouldn't last a whole week. The boo did too. In fact I believe my consoling included something about the normalcy of "feeling down" after coming off of strong medication, and I was probably called "honey" too, which tends to help. All I've ever wanted is to feel normal!

And so, here I am, off the meds, back at home, and watching American Idol. I believe things are improving as I haven't cried in the past few hours nor am I vomiting... and I don't mean from the Vicodin...I mean from Randy Jackson's comments.

You know it's true.