Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve wisdom

Although it is not Christmas yet (even though I've said "Merry Christmas" a billion times already...even to my students of Jewish decent) I've learned some things this season. A wise man once said, "Hey...I know things." So true.

Here's what I've learned thus far:
1. It is difficult to wrap a golf club, especially one that has a cover on the end (or the top? whatever it's called) Note: I once dated a fellow who was attempting to become a pro golfer. I tried to use golf verbiage a time or two, needless to say it did not work out)
2. The best Christmas gift to ask from one's father? A visit to Jiffy Lube. You better believe Wanda the Honda got some lovin' this morning...fluids, oil, the whole enchilada, all while I was still snoozing in the guest bedroom. I may have left my keys out as a hint to go without me and avoid waking me from my slumber, just a possibility.
3. If there is a gift under the tree that is a sweet of any kind, dogs will find it, and eat it, and perhaps parts of the box too.
4. Christmas shopping at Facists' Island (aka The OC's Fashion Island) at T-2 days is only an option when involving a stop at Yard House for a cold beer mid shop.
5. Watching Julie and Julia is quite the inspiration to blog ;)

That's it for now. Stay tuned...

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Winter shopping

There's a reason this post is called "Winter shopping" instead of Christmas shopping. I'm not talking about shopping for Christmas gifts, I'm talking about shopping for myself during the Christmas season.

"How selfish" you say aloud. No, just honest. You do it too.

I have a problem (the depths of it I will not get into right now) that makes me think I have a surplus of money...when I almost never do. With the help of direct deposit and online banking, beginning at midnight on the 15th and 30th of each month, I can go on that world wide web and see 4 digits in my bank account balance instead of the usual 2-3, okay it can sometimes be 1 digit or many digits proceeding a negative sign but lets just say it's more than my standard amount for arguments' sake. I see that balance, which seems extremely high for someone who's survived on the wage of a private, anti-women being independent, Christian school before (again, we'll save that topic for a later time) and think that there is a never ending amount of funds for me to spend! Let's get something straight, I don't spend ridiculously, realistically about 90% of my "spending" is on a fun category in my budget called "bills/loans," thanks private university education!
Nonetheless, when I'm out and about shopping for Christmas gifts, with that crazy high balance in my head, I inevitably find a reason to purchase something for myself. Never anything too outlandish. My usual cap is a $30 fancy shirt, whoa! I can always come up with an excellent argument (argument with myself) for deserving something new for my closet...especially if it goes on my feet.

This particular week, the argument went something like this, "It's Christmas...and New Years! I have to have something cute (meaning new) to wear. Plus I've been working a lot lately. Like really a lot! I definitely deserve something. I mean some girls I know shop all the time! I'm really frugal when it comes down to it."

It worked.
I bought myself a little something, under the previously mentioned cap, and was so confident about the decision, I didn't even try it on. Because I'm becoming one of those people that doesn't leave OB, I of course shop here...which means that not only do most places only take cash, but they also don't do returns, only exchanges! Damn hippies.

So, after realizing my great decision did not fit as well as I'd hoped (Double D's can be a real joy kill) I had to exchange it. This is what led to trying on more clothing and my conclusion about winter shopping:

1. Nothing looks as good on pale skin as it does on bronze.
2. Those "treats" from students add up and hit places that are usually bundled up in leggings and long jackets. But oh how they are exposed in the confines of a dressing room with fluorescent lighting.
3. Dry skin is really pretty.
4. Sweaters aren't cozy. They're itchy. And why do all of them have fur inside all of the sudden? Some of us have higher body temperatures okay!
5. There's no better formula for getting extremely irritated than this one:

Buyers' remorse + cold outside + winter clothing on as I shop + hot inside store/dressing room + dissatisfaction with extra winter "coat" that's been sneakily added to my body + overly cheerful (and freakishly skinny) salesperson + the pressure of having to get something (that whole no return rule) + still not being done with/able to afford Christmas shopping, yet buying something for myself!


Is it Spring yet?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

You complete me.

Remember the elevator scene in Jerry Maguire when the deaf man signs those words to his woman...and Renee Zellweger is moved to tears, then tells Tom what was said? Tom Cruise later says this to her (instead of signing it) and ends up coining the phrase, "You complete me." A year later you could hear this said in an even sincerer form, from Dr.Evil to Mini-Me.

As usual, I'm experiencing a theme lately in my world...in conversations with others and thoughts with...well, myself. (I've said it before, you don't wanna be up here.) The theme is the idea of "completeness." Completion is the correct term but we Christians can add "-ness" to any word we choose, making it a descriptive noun. You say purity we say "pureness." Webster's may say devotion, we say "devoted-ness." Feel free to make up words yourself, I am confident you'll find it liberating.

This theme of, get ready for it, "completeness," has mostly been in the context of relationship talk. Lots of those go on around me, all the time. Not sure if it's because I'm a woman and we just LOVE relationships (being in them, talking about them, obsessing over them) or if it's due to the fact that so many in my mid-to-late-20's-world are currently in one. I suppose the reason is unimportant for now.

I've been thinking about the phrase, "You complete me," and I just don't buy it. You thought I'd say something sappy like "...and I just long for the day when I can utter those words..." Wrong. I once again sit in the seat of cynicism. How could such a happy and carefree little girl be so negative?!
I say this not to be negative, but because I feel way more comfortable with the word compliment than complete. Take a moment, substitute that word in the phrase...got it. If a man completes me it's reasonable to say that I am therefore incomplete without him. I'm not being cynical, but merely logical at this point.

My feelings aside for a moment (but just a moment, not for too long) that poor "completing" man is responsible for the daunting task of completing an incomplete person? That sounds awful...and like a tongue twister. If it were me, (and sometimes it is) I'd want to hang with someone who was already complete...before I showed up!
But really, how romantic is it to hear (imagine a sweet voice in your ear), "You compliment my already completed self."
Ummm...
But shouldn't that be more like it?

We should feel complete on our own. Life itself and faith should satisfy us. Then we meet someone who just compliments that, with ease. Ease is a key word here. I've decided through authentic research, that if he's not easy, it's just not right. That could be interpreted in a few ways-I mean to say it in the more appropriate one.
I don't want to date the dude that's always searching for the next entertaining thrill, who's constantly dissatisfied and well, incomplete. I want (just FYI we're back on my feelings now, I feel much better don't you?) to be with the one who has friends, hobbies, passions, things that complete him and make his life worth while...without me! Then he's just even more stoked (I mean, who wouldn't be?) once I'm on the scene.
And so, for the uncomfortable and antsy child (yours truly included), I say to you, set your goal not on "meeting someone" to feel complete, but on creating an environment for your life that causes you to feel so complete that you can't even stand it! One that's filled completely to the top with friendships and passions...and a frigen good time.

How lucky will he or she be when they hear your lips seductively whisper, "You REALLY compliment me."

That should make for a good night ;)