Remember the elevator scene in Jerry Maguire when the deaf man signs those words to his woman...and Renee Zellweger is moved to tears, then tells Tom what was said? Tom Cruise later says this to her (instead of signing it) and ends up coining the phrase, "You complete me." A year later you could hear this said in an even sincerer form, from Dr.Evil to Mini-Me.
As usual, I'm experiencing a theme lately in my world...in conversations with others and thoughts with...well, myself. (I've said it before, you don't wanna be up here.) The theme is the idea of "completeness." Completion is the correct term but we Christians can add "-ness" to any word we choose, making it a descriptive noun. You say purity we say "pureness." Webster's may say devotion, we say "devoted-ness." Feel free to make up words yourself, I am confident you'll find it liberating.
This theme of, get ready for it, "completeness," has mostly been in the context of relationship talk. Lots of those go on around me, all the time. Not sure if it's because I'm a woman and we just LOVE relationships (being in them, talking about them, obsessing over them) or if it's due to the fact that so many in my mid-to-late-20's-world are currently in one. I suppose the reason is unimportant for now.
I've been thinking about the phrase, "You complete me," and I just don't buy it. You thought I'd say something sappy like "...and I just long for the day when I can utter those words..." Wrong. I once again sit in the seat of cynicism. How could such a happy and carefree little girl be so negative?!
I say this not to be negative, but because I feel way more comfortable with the word compliment than complete. Take a moment, substitute that word in the phrase...got it. If a man completes me it's reasonable to say that I am therefore incomplete without him. I'm not being cynical, but merely logical at this point.
My feelings aside for a moment (but just a moment, not for too long) that poor "completing" man is responsible for the daunting task of completing an incomplete person? That sounds awful...and like a tongue twister. If it were me, (and sometimes it is) I'd want to hang with someone who was already complete...before I showed up!
But really, how romantic is it to hear (imagine a sweet voice in your ear), "You compliment my already completed self."
Ummm...
But shouldn't that be more like it?
We should feel complete on our own. Life itself and faith should satisfy us. Then we meet someone who just compliments that, with ease. Ease is a key word here. I've decided through authentic research, that if he's not easy, it's just not right. That could be interpreted in a few ways-I mean to say it in the more appropriate one.
I don't want to date the dude that's always searching for the next entertaining thrill, who's constantly dissatisfied and well, incomplete. I want (just FYI we're back on my feelings now, I feel much better don't you?) to be with the one who has friends, hobbies, passions, things that complete him and make his life worth while...without me! Then he's just even more stoked (I mean, who wouldn't be?) once I'm on the scene.
And so, for the uncomfortable and antsy child (yours truly included), I say to you, set your goal not on "meeting someone" to feel complete, but on creating an environment for your life that causes you to feel so complete that you can't even stand it! One that's filled completely to the top with friendships and passions...and a frigen good time.
How lucky will he or she be when they hear your lips seductively whisper, "You REALLY compliment me."
That should make for a good night ;)
Comments