Top 10 ways to get a date...brought to you by the passive aggressive blonde

The following Top 10 doubles as a list of beautiful gifts (from some very beautiful people at my "Fam Bday Bash") AND items that will apparently get you a date...well not YOU, but ME. Feel free to take notes, or in this case hit "print", to file this valuable information in your personal records.

1. Movie Tickets...this is where the birth of the comment-taken-too-far took place.

2. Cookbook

3. Earrings

4. Clutch-with seahorses on it...so in love with it!

5. A single cousin (???)

6. A pork chop tied around my neck

7. Another cookbook

8. Polk-a-dot Apron

9. Every day apron (very practical, everyone should have one)

10. Silver Cross charm bracelet

Why these items you may ask yourself (or ask me)? I don't know. Apparently once you have chuckled even a little bit, out of embarrassment (or I dunno, possibly due to the fact that there is a quasi-set up situation going on AT the party), you have allowed free reign for the family "joke of the hour" to go on for entirely and inappropriately too long. And by "you" I mean "me." Once it turned to something along the lines of "Maybe cousin Tom could take you on a date!" I knew it was all over. One word came to mind... AWKWARD!...and okay, maybe another...FRICKEN WEIRD! I guess that's two. If there were a present opening contest...something focusing on who could do it the fastest?!...even up against 5-year olds on Christmas morning, I believe I could have wooped everyone. Just get me through the gifts, and to dessert...I don't think there's a "comment" about dates (or my supposed lack thereof) that can be somehow connected to a carrot cake!

The moral of the story...the minute you feel awkwardly or even minutely attacked...casually say something to the effect of "Ok. That's enough of that." Then perhaps lighten the mood with "Now let's focus on all of my PRESENTS instead of my LOVE life!" laugh laugh laugh, spotlight off rude date-comments situation...and scene!

Comments

stephanier said…

so thankful for this post... and jealous of your seahorse clutch :)

September 4, 2009 at 5:07 PM

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