I'm sure that since you're all such loyal and frequent readers (insert corny wink here) you've already read about my hatred for soccer previously.
In this post, I'll try not to get into all the loathe-worthy characteristics about the sport. Things like having to pretend you want the ball when really you couldn't care any less about it (Picture a game right now...Everyone screaming, "I'm open I'm open! Pass it!" Getting excited when the ball last hits the other team member's foot, leaving lucky us to get the ball and throw it back onto the field!) I also won't talk about how in every other situation in life we dodge a ball flying at our head, and in soccer we hope for it and use it as a strategy...what?!
The reason I bring up the ridiculous sport today is because of how useful I realize it can be...at getting you out of trouble, and even making you sound legit. I take no credit for this discovery and in fact want to give all the credit (where credit is due) to the most hilarious female I've ever met, Lani, who although she won't admit it, now goes by "Little Nugget." Lani's got it down. This intellectual figured out that the best excuse EVER is soccer. Her apology for being late? "Sorry, I was at soccer practice." Her reason for being tired? "Man, I had an intense soccer practice last night." Feel free to add any other reasons you need...
Being the girl whose hair is always a wreck (hypothetical obviously)? "Gosh my pony is just crazy from yesterday's braids at my soccer game." Want to get out of something? "If I don't leave right now and get to the field, Coach is gonna kill me!"
My personal favorite from the Nug, "I'm gonna need that over-sized Marc Jacob bag to fit my soccer ball in."
Do I still despise this ultimate team building sport? Yes. Do I finally see a purpose for it? Also Yes.
Comments
or come up with a fake disease. that could work too for lots of things.
and carry a pager saying you are "on call" and that will get you out of many jams. including speeding tickets.