Last night I had my first, yes FIRST, night out with friends...like just girls! I really hate saying "girlfriends" because I shouldn't need to specify since I'm probably not hanging out with a bunch of dudes. Since I'm not cliche when it comes to calling every female-non-relative in my world a "girlfriend" I have to make up for it elsewhere...I called last night's event a "Moms' Night Out." That's right. I planned it and called it a MOMS' NIGHT OUT. What have I become? Answer: A mom...who likes Happy Hour every now and then for cryin' outloud
We moved to Idaho on October 6, 2014 and to be clear, it did NOT take me this long to make friends. It did however take approximately a year to get them all in one restaurant without husbands and children present. Apparently not everyone is of the camp that there are times when men and kids should be left at home. To you I say, Welcome.
I was actually a bit nervous. And that's completely ridiculous in my opinion (of course it's my opinion, it's my blog). For most of my adult life I've taken great pride in finding it easy to be social, workin' a room, things like this. Most of my besties (really? no "girlfriends" but "besties" are okay?) would agree that I tend to be the planner of the crew, making sure everyone is together, no one is left out etc. Not much makes me uncomfortable and I feel completely in my element when I'm around a ton of people.
Welp, Idaho has done something to me. I was trying to figure out whether this new (and awkward) deal stemmed from having a baby, being over 30...? Nope. It's being in a completely new place and having to start from scratch making friends; *gals if you will.
*If you're a gal, you know it. Think "bestie" but on a deeper level. Only the real lucky ones have a bunch of GALS!
Here's what I've decided:
This is just a different time of life. I won't be staying up all night talking to these new friends, or spending days at a time with them OR living with them, getting drunk and stupid with them, going through bad breakups with them...things have CHANGED! My gals will be my gals forever and making more gals is just not really in the cards. I am embracing the newbie friends, but with a reasonable and healthy expectation. No pressure!
Leading up to the evening, which I've established will be a monthly occurrence and everyone is excited about the prospect, I kept going back and forth on whether I should bring a dessert for everyone to the restaurant (nerd alert) or perhaps make them all a little something...maybe a card with a bible verse on it? I mean, they're all members at our church, they probably like that kinda thing.
Then I decided that I don't like making stuff and unless it was someone's birthday, I probably wouldn't bring dessert to a dinner out with friends. And that's what this was- dinner out with friends.
So... I dunno...maybe just be a normal human being and stop trying so damn hard!
I didn't bring dessert or any weird little cards. I mean, I was literally playing with the idea of using my laminator. What is wrong with me? And the night turned out great.
I even taught some new friends what a Moscow Mule was. ONLY the coolest drink that comes in a copper mug! DER. They think I'm the wildest woman they've ever met. I also have the reputation of having a really clean house- what more could I ask for?
So the journey continues...balancing my family, new friends, gals, and trying to feel like myself while doing it all- instead of that weird girl who brought a bundt cake to a sushi restaurant.