Playa hatin'...a harsh reality

This seems like an oddly serious post to be writing from the couch, with "My Blue Heaven" on in the background. I don't deny my love for Steve Martin and 80's films. I'm normally serving cocktails at this hour on a Sunday night but I came home a little early on account of a terrible tummy ache! Not sure if it's the flu that's going around or the cajun fries Pepe the cook gave me. Whether those babies were the cause or not...they were nonetheless a bad idea. The other option for this ache could be a case of the nerves, another meaning for "upset stomach" if you will. I'm a little upset over a few things.

There are times when things go on around you (which have nothing to do with you-and by "you" I mean me) and somehow they still really get to you, to the bottom of your heart. I'm not sure if there is rhyme or reason to it, but at times that these very things which have nothing to do with your life can get you so, so upset. In fear of sounding overly dramatic, I'll say it anyway, I have found that sometimes these disheartening situations can make one's view of humanity (overly optimistic view if you're me) somewhat...lessened.

This past Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday somehow included stories from women in my life (fantastic women I might add) that made my view on males slightly more negative this week. I want to throw out a disclaimer before I even get goin' here...I'm not at all trying to hate on the males.
I'm a firm believer in the catchy phrase "Don't playa hate...participate." I'm kidding, I'm not a firm believer in this at all actually. I try not to "hate" though...too often. Instead I chose (most of the time) to stay away from these particular "playas." In most cases, men intrigue me. It's as interesting to me as watching a foreigner...the way they speak, interact with each other...scratch themselves. So with that said, I'll quickly jump on my soap box long enough to share my recent frustrating finding.

As a Christian, I've experienced a lot of what I've described before as "Christian culture," including but not limited to Christian Culture's dating, and most of the time lack thereof. As a somewhat balanced person (always a work in progress of course) I've also experienced some of the "Secular" world as well. Note: If you are Christian, the "S" word should be soaked in as negative a tone as humanly possible. In the "Secular" world the "bad" guys are the ones that fit the following criteria:
1. Found in bars
2. Sleep with many women (this being the least aggressive way to describe this habit)
3. Dishonest
4. Selfish
5. Out for an ego boost...in any given situation, when and wherever possible and/or probable

In Christian Culture the "bad" guys...WAIT!...there are NO bad guys, right? WRONG.
These bad guys are under cover. They won't be in a place where you can expect bad guys. Vedy, vedy sneeeeaky. They'll be anywhere from writing an acoustic song the Worship Team will play on Sunday morning, to planning the next Game Night church event...which by the way is often used as a ploy to compulsively flirt and be the center of attention in a room of mostly females, without alcohol involvement of course. These guys fit criteria 3-5 above but differ from 1 and 2 by the following slight changes:
1. Found in churches with young, attractive women, not in bars
2. There generally will not be the sleeping around, however there will be unfollowed through expectations, similar to those a woman might have after sleeping with a "bar guy."

In an ideal world, us legit gals wouldn't have to deal with any of these "bad" guys at all, but on a more realistic note...At least the "Secular" bad guys are easy to spot! After only one situation of my own (one is all it took, I'm a fast learner!) and watching countless church-going girlfriends deal with these UCBG's (Under Cover Bad Guys) I have concluded that this is more infuriating than the bar hoppers' habits! These dudes are unbelievable...and getting away with this trickery! Their MO: Surrounding themselves with females as a means to boost their egos, seeming interested in certain ones (this is where I get territorial and upset on behalf of my friends) when they have no real interest in pursuing them at all. As mentioned before, these women I'm referring to are fabulous, they are not easily fooled, holding too low of standards or any other thing that would be a possible defense for the Church boys! In the end, these women are left with unmet expectations, lack of follow through and a feeling of foolishness for thinking (like any logical human would) that these fools actually wanted to date them. Is the emotional outcome really that different from that of a woman who has been played by one of the "S" word men? How does it go unsaid and un-established that this Christianized way of playin' is also foul play with a woman's gentle heart? I don't know that I see a huge difference here. How interesting that the Worship leading ones are still deemed as nice guys (pending they continue to join a ministry and attend church events) while they are actually commiting the same emotional crime as the more obvious players.

 At least be upfront. I may not respect your way of dealing with (or using) women but at least it's out there in the open for me to see! For the ones that hide behind the nice guy role...You're Rude. Figure out what it is you are doing and why you are doing it (My guess would include some sort of Daddy issue) and please for the sake of Christian women and the Christian man's reputation in society...stop being a D-bag!