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Garrot the Carrot gave me MONO!

I'll be honest with you, my faithful readers, it's possible all of what I'm about to write may be cloudy and un-understandable, being that I am hopped up (or down rather) on Decongestants and Antihistamines. I'm going to attempt articulacy...side note: is it possible drugs make my spelling better? That and losing 3 lbs in the last 3 days might make this all worth while.

I felt a little sick 2 weeks ago and have been one of those snotty yet functional kids ever since. Although I survived my Friday night date without sneezing or coughing all over the fellow, Saturday afternoon I started to feel GNARLY. Throat scratchy, ears achy, head congested and overall dissatisfaction led me to a hot shower. Once out of the shower, carefully so not to fall into the wall heater, I realized I had a rash...all over my body! This is where I start to weep a little. Who has a rash like this? This cannot be right. And might I add, going without health insurance seems like a fantastic idea right now. NOT. With some help from Tylenol PM I finally fell asleep. Oh and may I add...this was my Valentines' Day! Bummer.

The next morning, no better. I drove to Walgreens (gotta love your local Pharmacists who scare the crap out of you!) and was told that I better quickly partake in some Benedryll so that I didn't dive into an anaphalactic shock. Cool. I slept and watched the "E" channel all day and still, no better.

Then it was Monday...still rashy and everything else, I drive (in the rain) to San Diego Health Clinic, always a treat getting those free services. It was closed, like every other clinic today...Happy Birthday Presidents! I started driving without a sure destination in mind and ended up parked in front of the Urgent Care building across from my gym. Because of its location I used to think it was one of those nasty clubs on Rosecrans...touche. It is a hospital! The closest thing to naked women was me looking haggard in one of those backless robes. I waited for about an hour and a half before seeing the Doctor. Although I am a pretty independent gal, these situations are super tough to be in alone. I have amazing friends, one of which insisted she come wait with me and I refused...after all, who really wants to be in an urgent care waiting room on their day off...not me! By the time I was in the exam room, with the backless robe on, I was in a vulnerable state to say the least. The Dr walked in looking at the chart and said the standard, "So you're Sara..." as he looked up at me he continued, "and you're crying." "Yea..." "Why?" While simultaneously blowing my nose I answered," I just don't feel good and this rash is freakin me out!" He did the best a male could comforting a female stranger and began doing all of the things Doctors do...looking in my nose and ears with a mini-flashlight and making me take deep breaths. Oh he pushed on my liver and spleen too. Diagnosis..."I'm thinkin' you have MONO."

MONO? The only experience I have had with Mono is when my sister got it at the age of eight and came home from the doctor's crying "Garrot the Carrot gave me mono!" Apparently the red-headed boy at school (named Garrot) had mono and spread it amongst his classmates. And now, 19 years later, Garrot the Carrot's sister has mono! Ok it's not totally certain yet. I found out about 30 minutes ago that the blood test came back negative but Dr. Urgent Care thinks I still might have it, since it can take up to a week to show. Awesome. So now my instructions are to go fill the antibiotic prescription (which will cost $90 in addition to my $200 visit), stop by Urgent care again to pick up some free nose spray (not my favorite thing to get for free but I'll take it) and continue taking the Sudafed and "no more itchy rash" meds. I'm hoping to do all of this when one of my beloved girlfriends comes over to help me with these errands in a little bit. Until then, I'll sit here in my robe (not a backless one), drink green tea, go through another roll of toilet paper blowing my nose and possibly do my taxes online.

Turns out the "rain" wasn't what gave me the rash at all! No big deal, it was just the MONO!

Happy Tuesday everybody!

Comments

Rowdy said…
Sorry for your pain and discomfort. Isn;t mono the 'kissing disease'????? hahaha
Karen Carter said…
Oh sweet Sara I pray you feel better. Bet you wish you had a snuggly.No more toilet paper for the nose buy yourself a box of pretty tissues.And just be good to your rashy self....Hope you feel better soon. Only you can make mono funny!
Ashlyn Carter said…
you poor thing! i'm going to call you tomorrow to see if you need anything...feel better love!
Liz said…
sara! wish i had read this earlier, i would have come taken care of you!however... i read this one out loud to dave and had to stop several times because i was laughing so hard i was crying. dave says you're the carrie bradshaw of my friends!
<3 you. did you get my note?

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