Blonde Story Short

Have you seen any of the "Oprah's favorite things" shows? Now that I think about it, there's even an established "Club" for books the big-O multimillionaire likes. Is it possible there is a conspiracy to push this female's agenda onto us? What do you take us for, Harpo? I personally refuse to buy a new line of skincare sold only at "Bloomy's" and will NOT be purchasing a Prius any time soon, OK. Rude. That's like pushing all one's opinions (on mostly a few key topics) onto others through the vessel of a blog or something. Who does that? One of Sara's favorite things, in a non you-should-like-it-too kinda way, is surprises. I don't understand the people in this world (most) who say they hate surprises. What? Why? That blanket, and bold with the use of the "H" word, statement must mean that one doesn't even enjoy fun surprises! "You weren't expecting it, but I just bought you a brand new car! You get ...

Recently I "drafted" a blog titled Poked and Prodded . Unfortunately it did not make it to the posting phase. This happens from time to time, I begin a piece (sounds fancy right?) and then "save now" it, in hopes that I'll finish/edit later and be able to proudly move to the "Publish Post." Doesn't always happen. In this case, I peaced out completely on P and P and at this time have revamped and can tell you even more about my exciting doctor adventures! It started out with an Urgent care, ER, Primary Care, GI jont. While most of you can eat a bacon and egg breakfast sandwich, turns out I cannot. On top of my usual constant unexplainable dull achy stomach, I had some pains that were pure evil a few weeks back. Come to find out, I may have even passed a gallstone during that 4 hour sesh, says my Gastro interologist, Sally. My dreams of four little grommets running around one day was almost a nightmare. Getting pretty unraveled I may have spouted ...

I've actually found someone that I want to go on dates with, introduce to the friends and fam (a standard panel of judges of course), and even let call me his girlfriend??? Question marks are necessary as I still am confused by the whole thing. Statements like, "Seriously, what am I gonna do with you?" often escape my mouth. Yes. It's true. Not that I'm one of THOSE girls (the ones I've made fun of, a time or two) but I do in fact now have (drum roll please)...a BF. The abbreve is just way too hard to resist. Although no one else thinks anything of it, the idea of being one of those goofy girls that's referring to their gentleman caller as "my boyfriend!" all the time, makes my eyes effortlessly roll in a clockwise manner. Looks like that whole High Maintenance thing panned out. It seems being "HM" causes a sifting effect...sifting through the definitely-not-gonna-happen's and the maybe-I'll-let-you-buy-me-another-meal's...a...

What did you do on this beautiful, Spring afternoon? Oh me? (answered a totally hypothetical individual) Well, I purchased some MiraLax. Just a typical day. MiraLax is a laxative for those of you that aren't in the know...and/or don't have bowel issues. After a week of stomach problems, this is what it has come to. Shoulder to shoulder with other elderly women in Isle seven of Rite aid. All generously throw out smiles. I mean really, without a good BM in your life, a smile from a stranger goes a long way...I'd imagine. It's amazing how much attention one will give to creating an environment for this natural (yet sometimes supplementally simulated) action to occur. Some even stay home from their occupations, on Friday afternoons? Like text messages are sent... "Yea I can come over in about an hour. Gotta pick up the laundry, run a quick errand and wait for this laxative to do its thang." (This sort of message should clearly be sent out in the form of a "b...

It is actually Earth Week 2010, dually note. I haven't been writing (a catastrophe for us all) due to the utter chaos going on this week. It's difficult to recap all of the "note worthy" situations, maybe because of the Vicodin I've recently ingested? This week I've been driving (more honestly, I've been speeding) back and forth between school... and the bar. Obviously closely related professions. Yes, I have returned to the world of sailors and fishermen, and their cackling wives duh. The most convenient part of balancing these two acts this week was having to taste all the new varietals on the wine list right before heading back for a meeting vital to keeping our educational institution accredited in the state of California. Always willing to be versatile. There is a method to my madness...not just attempting to give myself an ulcer, more like a gallbladder issue actually. The method is this: If I want to pay off my arch enemies Mr. Express and Platinum ...

is it so hard to come back to work after Spring Break?!?! I know I have no right (or every right I haven't decided) to complain, since most adults don't get what us old schoolers call "Easter Break" past college. However, I will tell you what I tell my roommate and everyone else who loathes me for having a coveted schedule... Well, then why don't YOU go get your credential (by taking 38 tests and another ridiculous number of classes that don't do anything for your teaching skills except make you more patient), then you can have lack of job security and a less than average pay...and get a Spring Break. I did mention I LOVE my job right? I like to start out the first-morning-back by looking through my planner, flipping pages, writing things down, basically planning to do things...instead of actually doing things. Seems productive. What have I accomplished? Duh. I've written three very necessary emails, responded to a planner-related facebook message (you...

I'm sure that since you're all such loyal and frequent readers (insert corny wink here) you've already read about my hatred for soccer previously. In this post, I'll try not to get into all the loathe-worthy characteristics about the sport. Things like having to pretend you want the ball when really you couldn't care any less about it (Picture a game right now...Everyone screaming, "I'm open I'm open! Pass it!" Getting excited when the ball last hits the other team member's foot, leaving lucky us to get the ball and throw it back onto the field!) I also won't talk about how in every other situation in life we dodge a ball flying at our head, and in soccer we hope for it and use it as a strategy...what?! The reason I bring up the ridiculous sport today is because of how useful I realize it can be...at getting you out of trouble, and even making you sound legit. I take no credit for this discovery and in fact want to give all the credit (wher...