This is for all the Christian gals - a new (new to me at least) perspective that might be epiphany-riffic for ya. Over a satisfying Pinot and pumpkin scented candle, I had a pretty deep convo with my very wise and refreshing new roomie. Without downplaying the intelligence and open-mindedness of some Christian females, I'd like to propose a partly blanket statement.
Here we go...
For some reason, some Christian females have this idea that the boyfriend, husband, marriage aspect of our lives is more important to God than every other aspect, including but not limited to job, friends, family, finances, home, dog, city you chose to live in etc. Maybe its more important to you - fine, to each her own. But it seems there's this idea that no other piece of life matters as much to God as "giving you" the "gift" of a man. I am not implying that this part of life isn't important to God, I think it is...
*This is where some of you peace out and assume "she's just saying this because she's single!" That's fine, cover your ears, or eyes in this case, and don't listen to anything slightly different than what you've already decided is truth. I am going to continue though so read on if you'd like!
Here were the main points of our discussion: God isn't any more interested in blessing His children (daughters in this case) with a husband than He is with a great job or best friend...or even rent money! If sin is sin, then blessing is blessing! How many churches somehow reference marriage or being a wife/husband in almost every sermon? This is meant to be rhetorical...SO MANY! I love these churches and love my particular church and pastor, but it seems like marriage is almost held up like a GOD. For example, is every person in the congregation married? Another rhetorical question...obviously not. Hi, I'm in the congregation, and I'm not married! Point proven. So how is someone who's single (maybe even in a relationship but still unmarried) supposed to relate to that example? You'll rarely hear a reference to being a great friend or sibling when discussing Christ-like characteristics or things that are close to God's heart. Is being a great friend to someone less than being a good wife...excuse me, a "Proverbs 39 wife"?! I'm not saying the symbolism in marriage isn't amazing. Husband=Jesus, Wife=Church. Got it. Fabulous symbol! But, downplaying (by omitting) every other non-marriage related position in life seems a little strange and almost exclusive...leaving individuals feeling less because they can't even understand what their preacher is talking about and therefore must just not fully understand God...until they're married.
My concern is this: Holding up husbands as the grandest gift God will ever give us (and you know you've heard it in vows at ALL the christian weddings we've attended, "You are God's greatest gift to me," "You are what God had in store for me," "...what I've been preparing for my whole life")sends a few messages that I just can't feel right about calling true to God's heart. Once again, Christian culture has messed something up! If a husband is the greatest, most significant gift, why don't some people receive it? Have they not arrived spiritually yet, are they not (my personal fave) "right with God"? What do those things even mean? I'm not talking about myself here as a single, christian female (that sorta sounded like an ad in the personals). I'm talking about Christians who NEVER (God forbid!) get married. And I wonder too about the people that do "receive that gift" then get it taken away by death or divorce. Did they backslide to their old unholy ways or have too little faith and get their gift taken back?...Seems to throw a wrench in the theory don't ya think?
It actually seems pretty self-righteous of these people who hold this idea and have in fact received this "best of the best" gift to claim God has given them something (that is apparently based on works) that He's supposedly holdin' out on for others. Is He waiting to give them this BOMB gift until they're as spiritual as these already married folk? For some reason I just can't grasp God laying it all out in that manner. Again, I don't want to blanket it up or be totally aggressive, claiming all Christians think this way. I know it is only some, not all (see I'm getting better at not being so extreme). The reason I have been so enlightened by the idea that this hidden (or sometimes very bluntly stated) theory is wrong is that disclaiming it somehow actually makes me feel even more special to God! He cares more about me (and YOU!) and EVERY aspect of our lives and ALL the decisions we make and not just about which dude we end up with.
The prize isn't the man. It's better than that- it's God Himself...in Heaven! The man, just like the job, house, friends or dog is just another piece of who YOU are to God, His beloved, the BIG picture, you and Him. I think God just wants every part of our lives to encourage our personal relationship with Him, including but NOT limited to...your boo!
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