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My 2 latest issues involve the word "MO-FO"


Let's start with "Mo-fo" issue #1.
Last Monday I was asked to make a list of helpful hints for a coworker (at my bartending job). She would be opening the bar solo the next day and needed some essential reminders...things like; put place mats and rolled up silverware out so people can help themselves etc...just your average list of frivolous information that surprisingly makes a difference. I titled the list "Things that will make life easier." I got a friendly call from my manager on Saturday. FYI I'm not a fan of work related calls on Saturdays-I tend your bar 2 nights a week, beyond that I'd like you to pretend I don't exist!
She asked me if I remembered #5 on my list of reminders. Obvious response-"Um...nope." There's only so much room in this head and trust me there's already a lot goin' on up there, I don't recall what "#5."  She continued, "Well you wrote, 'Make extra iced tea, people drink it like Mo-fos'" Then there was some silence and confusion on my end. My defense: a) I put my list in a place where no one could see it b) The horrific #5 was on page three of a tiny server pad, invisible to the naked eye and c) It was a fricken joke! They really do drink insane amounts of iced tea! OK fine, I'm immature.

I got scolded (like a struggling child) for poor judgment, use of language and insensitivity to the generational gap. According to Manager, "Being called a mother ****er is pretty hard to misinterpret." Does anybody else see how ridiculous this is? And since said new bartender was the only person who should've been behind that bar at 11:00am, I think our main concern outta be: Who's snoopin' around the liquor?!
Crisis overted. Didn't get fired.

Mo-fo issue #2...all within the same week mind you:
I'm not a man. Shocker I know. Because I'm not a man, there are certain things I just will never understand. I'll skip the whole football topic (rules of the game and general interest in it are mind-boggling) and move along, in consideration to your time as a reader of course.

I've been seeing (casually seeing, I have commitment issues) a new guy-"P4" for those of you with some prior knowledge. He's super, super sweet. He is consistent, thoughtful and thus far I like what I see. It's making the daunting task of dating bearable for sure. There's only one problem...he TOO likes the word mo-fo...only not the abridged version! He doesn't always use that distasteful word, but seldom is too much. It is just beyond me why some men (I said some, trying to get away from blanket statements) think talking like this is cool. The part that interests me about this particular gentleman is the sweet part! I'm not in the market for Mr. BADA$$! I know there are many girls that don't exactly disprove the "nice guys finish last" theory, I've been one of them in my time. But, the reality of the situation is that the legit girls (tooting my own horn as I include myself in this group) like the NICE guys! The mo-fo talk is totally over-rated. If anyone is impressed by this, it's going to be a bunch of dudes...in a bar...that ride Harleys!

Here's to a brighter (literally) week...without any mo-fos in it!

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