I should say "in the LEAST cynical way," but it just didn't catch me as much as my grammatically incorrect title written above.It's coming out tonight...The big "C" in me, which by the way, I always initially spell with an "S." The fact that I write this word often enough to have a habit related to it is probably an unfortunate sign, or perhaps one that means I'm super reflective and honest about who I am??? No, it definitely just means I'm a cynic. Damn it.
I can't help but write (and put out into the world) something on tonight's current event...and a "status update" on Facebook would just not do the trick.
For those of you that followed "The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love" this season, you'll have at least a faint idea of what I'm talking about. For those of you that did not follow, you're WELCOME for giving you this useful and critical opinion on the whole thing...an opinion which I encourage you to take on.
Here we go...
Really Pilot Jake? Really? You chose the two polar opposites that existed on the show. The woman that talks in a sweet little voice (although to me it sounds as if there is a biscuit stuck in her trachea), who even when you "don't chose" her goes on to thank you for the experience, compliment you and never...stop...smiling?! Your second choice was the girl that no other girl in the "house" (or the motor home in this particular season, ABC's low budge?) liked! Really? Out of 25 females, NO ONE likes her? hmmm. I know that it's standard for one's MOM to assume/insist that when other females are mean to her daughter it's because "they're jealous," but c'mon you're a grown man...you should know better than that.
Here's my theory, I know it's weird to hear me say that because I just never have theories on anything...especially deep and convicting theories!
Vienna, the one who won Jake's heart (and a series of roses which are definitely dead by now) is the girl that Jake the conservative/Texan accented/pilot could never get. He was always the nice guy. The hot blonde (fake blonde revealed her roots by episode 5) with extensions, tattoos and just a tad bit of white-trash-fashion-sense (think daisy dukes, off the shoulder shirt with white wife beater tank revealed underneath) ever looked at twice! She never gave the Jakes of her high school (or probably junior college) a chance at all! And so as Mr Wings, you're intrigued! All of the sudden you are "The Bachelor" and if that's not enough of an ego boost for ya, you got the "hot" (quotes on purpose) bad girl falling "in love" (more loaded quotes) with you.
SCORE! Now you can go through the rest of your life trying to persuade the women in your family, i.e your MOTHER, that she really is "sweet," and hoping that the 23 year-old, bad girl you so luckily ended up with doesn't CHEAT on you!
Some men will just never learn.
Okay I'm done...I think I'll check my Eharmony account now. Good night.
Comments
"Hey, I'm just keepin' it real!", is my excuse for saying it. But I think it's true.
1. Vienna meeting Jakes parents and their look of total disgust.
2. Jake telling Tenley that there was no "heat" when what he really meant was "how do you expect me to know if there's chemistry if you keep acting with total class and moral integrity?"
3. Jeffrey Osborn returning to sing On The Wings of Love which was cheezy in 1982 and was therefore nausearific in 2010.