Blonde Story Short

 With a toddler keeping me busy, it seems that some of the only times I get to sit down and write are during Bachelor season…how odd. What I'd like to do is simply post a link to an SNL sketch called "Bland Man." It's pretty well done. Instead I'll break it down. Obviously Ben is tall, dark and handsome…some might say. I do have to admit though, that bland may be an adequate forth word to describe him. Has the guy said one funny thing yet? And feeding Becca a maraschino cherry does not count as funny.  One would only be privy to that outtake if they watched "The Bachelor Live," airing right after the show. Why do I watch it  every week? It pretty much sucks every time but I just can't turn the TV off immediately after that rose ceremony. Perhaps it's because I think Chris Harrison is actually the most intelligent "character" of them all. There is no doubt this guy is strategic enough to carry out a full blown cash grab. Good for yo...

Charlotte and I took our first Mommy-Lotti trip, to North Carolina. I spent the entire week prior packing during nap times so that I felt as prepared as possible for two 9-hour days of travel and a week away from home (also to satisfy some freakish compulsion to be organized and in control of things that intimidate me). If Delta didn't think an overstuffed diaper bag, bulging *CK hobo and a baby carrier (fit for Everest should we chose to climb it someday) were appropriate for the allotted carry-on allowance, well...they had another thing coming.  *Become a mom and kiss wearing your favorite purses goodbye, unless you can stuff some blankets and bottles in them and take them on a flight. Booya. The first leg, to Minneapolis, went better than expected. The subtle motion of the plane taking off was enough to rock my little pook to sleep for almost the entire flight. Her awake time was spent snacking on puffs (best baby time waster ever) and being entertained by whatever...

Last night I had my first, yes FIRST, night out with friends ...like just  girls!    I really hate saying "girlfriends" because I shouldn't need to specify since I'm probably not hanging out with a bunch of dudes. Since I'm not cliche when it comes to calling every female-non-relative in my world a "girlfriend" I have to make up for it elsewhere...I called last night's event a "Moms' Night Out."  That's right.  I planned it and called it a MOMS' NIGHT OUT. What have I become? Answer: A mom...who likes Happy Hour every now and then for cryin' outloud We moved to Idaho on October 6, 2014 and to be clear, it did NOT take me this long to make friends. It did  however take approximately a year to get them all in one restaurant without husbands and children present. Apparently not everyone is of the camp that there are times when men and kids should be left at home. To you I say, Welcome. I was actually a bit nervous.  And t...

All I want is a King bed and a big bathtub. These were my non-negotiables as the hub and I discussed the specs for our recent Anniversary celebration. Not only did my wish for a bed and a bath come true, but bikes and booze were on the scene too.  I feel like a degenerate saying booze (instead of something nicer like "cocktails") but there's kind of an alliteration thing going on here so... We are creatures of habit and usually go to a fancy steakhouse on our anniversary.  It's always a chance to dress nice, have a long and quiet dinner (except for romantic talk of the previous year's adventures and what the future holds- huh?!).  Of course dropping some dough on a nice meal without feeling guilty is always appealing too. We then continue the evening by staying somewhere for the night.  Last year was especially memorable since it was our last summer in San Diego and I was pregnant with our now 7-month old baby. This year things are just so...

Here is my quick and dirty on the remaining Bachelor contestants (and a few other poor schmucks)... Shawn :  Ryan Gosling + Matthew Maconahay Shawn is still hanging in there but I'm thinkin' he blew it with his overzealousness about being "the one" and his deep seeded hatred for Nick. If you ask me, and you obviously did, Kaitlyn is over it but doesn't want to send him home.  Wouldn't it be the BEST if in real life we called dumping people "sending them home?"  She told  Shawn  about her premature naughty night specifically because she wants him to break up with her.  Then she doesn't have to! You feel me? Eager Beaver Nick : The guy you should stay away from We all know his kind. He wants what he can't have...and seriously wears skinny jeans and man sweaters all. the. time. It's just too much. A glimpse into Nick's head- "This chick is cool (and totally puts out) buuuuut if she doesn't chose me, here's hopin...

So up until this week I had respect for Kaitlyn.  She was straight forward, appropriately confrontational, confident and fun. I was even willing to look past the double bird elbow tats and constant reminder that she likes to rap. Well, I lost half of that well deserved respect the week she let Old-News-Nick   join the perspective husbands  team-  or as ABC calls them, The Cast. This tool shows up aaaaaand....POOF! Typical stupid girl appears within minutes! It was almost magical. Here's what's happening Kait... I'm writing to her  directly because I'm sure no one else on the internet is doing that right now. Some hipster you were once "talking to" (code for he used texting you as a cure for boredom ) is now back on the scene after ya'll mysteriously "lost touch." The simple fact is this: you are getting a LOT of attention from a bunch of other dudes ON A NATIONAL TELEVISION SHOW THAT CHRIS HARRISON HOSTS and Nick has once again become cu...

With millennials home for summer, I've become hyper aware of the various lists that hit the internet scene daily...I think I've heard "Buzz Feed" referencecd at least 3-5 times in the last two weeks. Let's face it, I'm not cool at all so knowing what's going on is probably a step in the right direction.  Or shall I say knowing what's "hip." (No one says "hip" without "ster" at the end of it anymore, what a shame...that everyone is a Hipster...not the sudden halt in using the word "hip," just so we're clear) My little six month old princess is keeping me busy these days, babies sleep less as the months go on, did you know that?  I didn't. And so...writing has become quite a commodity. This is a real tragedy when my morning caffeine rush has blog ideas flying like mad in this head of mine.  If only I could get them all down, what a substantial difference I could make in the world! So today, in honor of...